Post by dylan on Feb 6, 2013 3:43:33 GMT -5
Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch....
Dylan was just resting his eyes. He wasn't falling asleep. He was just...resting...
How was he supposed to stay totally conscious when Isabel was tracing patterns onto the skin of his bareback and talking about...about...something he couldn't grasp. College plans, girls she didn't like, daily woes...nothing too serious. It wasn't that she was always boring — she was actually the single most interesting person he'd ever encountered. Her voice was just soothing in a way that he didn't understand.
"Dylan, are you listening to me?" Her hand had stopped moving several minutes ago, and he'd drifted off into a peaceful dreamland.
He merely grunted and buried his face in a pillow. His best guess at the time was...somewhere around 3am. They probably had school in a few hours, but it's not like it would be a big deal for him to walk down the hall to his dorm to get dressed for classes.
Suddenly, just as softly as her fingertips had been, he felt Isabel placing kisses along his spine and he got chill bumps. She moved from the small of his back, up to his shoulder bones, and then she was nibbling on his earlobe. He felt her bare breasts on his skin as she moved, though it didn't come off sexual. It felt...somehow natural. Maternal in a sense, but not in a creepy wanting to fuck your mom kind of way. More...gentle than the average lover. Simple. Like her body was more than just a piece of meat to get sexual gratification out of.
"I love you," she whispered to him as she kissed on his neck.
She'd said it multiple times and he still hadn't said it back. He just couldn't bring himself to do it, because it felt like a lie. He had no doubt in his mind that she was in love with him. He could have guessed that months ago. But his feelings he was still unsure of.
He cared about her, and that said a lot coming from him. Most of his life the only person he cared about was himself, no matter how selfish that is. He was used to other people caring for him, but he almost never returned it.
Declan — Declan was the one who cared for people. Maybe even too much. He let Dylan walk all over him and was still there for him at the end of every fight. He even defended him to other people when they were arguing. Poor kid still didn't know that he was fucking the only girl he ever loved nine out of the fourteen months they dated.
He rolled over and looked up at her. He didn't say anything, just kind of stared at her. He knew she wanted to hear it back eventually, but he had enough respect for her to not lie.
He reached up and stroked her cheek, a sad smile on his lips. He felt himself coming undone around Isabel, and eventually he knew he would stop being afraid to love her, or anyone else for that matter.
If he really thought about it...the reason he was unable to feel really anything but sexual gratification probably went back to his mother. Isabel was always cursing her and calling her things like a wretched woman, but he didn't let himself think like that. He wanted to believe that she just had other things going on, that she was fighting with his father...he didn't want to think about the possibility that the one person who's supposed to love you the most...didn't care. She decided that she was too good for her sons and left. She never loved him. Not a bit, not a little...not even at all.
Coming to that realization makes a person hard. And it was something that Isabel seemed to understand without him ever telling her. Which was probably why he was still here, and hadn't strayed very far. He'd never been in an actual relationship, but he knew it had to be rare to find someone who can basically read your mind like that.
"I know," he whispered back and leaned up to kiss her. "I know you do," he pulled her down to rest her head on his chest, and he cradled her head in his arms.
He ran his fingertips down her back, the same calming sensation she'd grown accustomed to doing to him. Across her perfect cocoa butter scented skin, freckles in random places that probably connected into a million beautiful pictures...
"One of these days..." he mumbled as he drifted back to sleep, her breath slowing against his neck in her own sleepy rhythm.