Elliot's dorm

[Raine Gregory]

"I... I can't."[/u]

Raine didn't say anything after he rejected her sexual attempts to get closer to him. She didn't want to say anything to him or look at him or touch him so she just pulled away from him like he had just told her that he had an infectious disease of some sort. She scooted away from him as far as she possibly could in the little fort and just stared blankly at the wall in front of her. How could he reject her? He had left her with scars emotionally that she might never rid herself of yet he couldn't do something as simple as make love to her? She was the virgin in this situation yet he was the one who didn't want to put out! Wasn't that suppose to be her job? The constant rejection and saying no at every single term? She was getting frustrated, hell, sexually and emotionally. What was she suppose to do now? Just sit here in silence and not say anything because he was suffering the sting of rejection? She was going to get her revenge; she was going to make him feel like this when he finally decided to man up and have sex with her.

Or, she wasn't.

Why were they both fighting so hard for a relationship that wasn't going anywhere? He didn't want to do the one thing that she needed him to do and she couldn't get it out of her head that she needed it. She wanted to give him something that she couldn't give to anyone else... and she wanted him to give her something that he had only given Ashley even if it wasn't his first time. Sex would be, in her mind, his way of telling her that he loved her and trusted her with his body when he was in a more vulnerable position just as he had with Ashley and that would put them on the same level at least. She was thinking of a break up speech when Elliot told her that he wanted to show her something and she really wasn't paying much attention to him. She knew that she was being petty and kind of a bitch with the heavy sighs and rolling her eyes before she started reading.

Of course it was a sweet gesture! It was something that the old Elliot that she knew and fell in love with would have done and she appreciated it but the war inside of her panties was quite distracting and the fact that she had tried to do something sweet and it meant nothing to him. She had been planning this for ages and he just ignored it like it was nothing. How could he do that to her? How could he always expect her to swoon over him when he could never do that to her? She didn't know what to say or what to do because she wanted to jump on him and tell him that they could wait to have sex and how much that she loved him but there was that nagging feeling in the back of her head that told her that this was just another time when he outdid her. She looked over to him and she felt conflicted about her next move so she kissed him sweetly on the lips and murmured, "I love you."

She glanced at the fort and frowned so she stood up and neatly folded the sheets and blankets back into the basket along with the food and everything else that had fallen out. She was very calm as she did all this like she was perfectly fine with her romantic plans falling apart. She finished putting everything away with a emotionless expression on her face.. He didn't need to know how much work that she put into this or how exhausting that it had been to stay up cooking the food because it was all a waste now. She opened his window oh so casually like she wasn't doing anything weird, just getting some air. She tossed the basket out the window like nothing.. Like it wasn't seven hours of baking and weeks of planning that she wouldn't get back.

She let out a heavy breath and went to lay on his bed with him, "I like your drawings." It was so quiet that she didn't know if he would even hear her. She wasn't going to be a bad girlfriend, nope.. She was going to stop trying but she wasn't going to stop loving him and she definitely wasn't going to try and have sex with him again and if he wanted it? Then she certainly wasn't putting out because he deserved to feel this rejection, too. "Do you like my dress? I bought it because... I thought you'd like it but you.. didn't get to see and I got my hair done... and I waxed my legs and my vagina. Do you know how painful that is? And I spent seven hours baking and days getting a plan for a romantic way to lose my virginity and candles.. I spent forever finding the perfect candle scent for the mood and the blankets and the glow in the dark stickers... I had a plan.. You wanted romance and ... I had a plan." She felt a lump growing in her throat and she knew the tears would soon follow.[/font][/size]

[Elliot Gates]

Elliot was a little put off that she wasn't as happy as he had wanted her to be. He thought that letting her read his journal, the one thing that he kept away from everyone's eye, was sure to at least lighten her mood a little bit. But then again, he hadn't even told her how fantastic her set up was, and now she was taking it down! What else was she doing? Raine had folded everything back into the basket and was walking toward the window. Elliot pinched his eyebrows together and watched as she just simply tossed the basket from his window. His mouth dropped open slightly and he decided it was time to stand up. Definitely time. Raine had an unfamiliar look in her eyes and expression on her face.

He took a small step back before tucking in his lower lip and joining her on his bed. He cursed the fact that his room gave him a twin, but at least it was comfortable. He remained almost silent while she talked on the verge of tears. He knew that he was in the wrong. She did all of this because she just wanted to be with him and he had to ruin it. It was like clockwork. "Why are we doing this?" He started. His voice was barely audible. "Why do I do this?" He sighed and took her hand in a desperate plea to turn things around and at least make her night better. "What you did tonight was beautiful. I just want you to know that it's not going unnoticed."

Even though he wasn't in the right mind for it, emotionally, mentally and physically, Elliot was going to try one last thing. He leaned into her, brushing her hair to the side with his hand, and planted a firmly gentle kiss on her neck. "And I love your dress." He took off her jacket and let it fall behind his bed. "I think we'd both rather it be off, though." Elliot cocked an eye brow up before reaching around to unzip the back. It wasn't necessary because the dress had a loose fitted hem, but it added a sensual touch and that's what he felt they needed.

Elliot slipped the top of her dress down as he moved in front of her. He kissed her until her back touched the bed and he trailed his lips from her neck to her collar bone, placing the lightest of kisses as he adventured further. His right hand explored her chest as he knelt on the floor in front of her and ran his free and over under her dress. She was right about her legs being perfectly smooth. "Raine?" He asked in a low voice and kissed her inner thigh dangerously close to the line of her panties. "Is this.. okay?"




{lsndf feel free to skip.}

[Raine Gregory]

Raine was not expecting Elliot to take care of her like that especially after he had just rejected her. She gasped and let out a small moan when his kisses reached her inner thighs. She was ready for this! She wanted this more than anything else in the world but she took a minute to fully mentally prepare for him to touch her vagina for the first time in their relationship. "Please... Please.. Elliot, do it." She whined desperately. What if he was just messing with her? What if he had no intention of ever actually pleasuring her?

It was a fear that stayed in her head that he was going to leave her hot and bothered yet again. "Please... I need this so much." She groaned as she readjusted herself on his tiny twin bed. She was anxiously waiting for him to finally dive his face in and pleasure her like she needed to be pleasured.

-Skip-

She felt mildly guilty that that she had been so loud when he was giving her oral but it just felt so good! She didn't know that it was even possible to be that loud. She had been screaming his name over and over for the past twenty minutes so her throat was understandably sore afterwards. She was panting as she stood up on her shaky legs to get a drink of water to help make her throat feel better. She pulled him onto the bed so she could snuggle up to his body and whisper sweet nothings about how wonderful that he was. "God, I love you.... I love you so much..." She was feeling tired and let out a yawn before snuggling her face into the pillow. "Are you .... if I fall asleep then.... will you be okay?"

She hadn't slept the night before so it made sense that she was tired now but she was too worried for his life to even dream of falling asleep before him but that didn't mean that she couldn't lay in his bed snuggling, right? And it wouldn't hurt if she got under the blankets... As long as she stayed awake.[/size]

[Elliot Gates]

Elliot had never done that before in his life. He was actually kind of shocked that she let him, and surprised at the fact that she actually found is desirable. Mid way through, she had started to get unbelievably loud and he felt kind of sorry for his sleeping hall-mates but there wasn't any way he could stop and just leave her hanging like that! Not after everything he had done to her tonight.

When she got up to get a drink, Elliot pushed himself up from the floor and went into the tiny bathroom to rinse his mouth with minty Listerine. What if she wanted to kiss him? He didn't fight her when Raine pulled him on the bed with her and snuggled right up to her body. He was laying on top of the covers and had just gotten somewhat comfortable when he realized how cold it was in his room. It didn't help that he still had his shirt off from earlier, but he went ahead and pulled the blankets over both of them.

When they finally settled, he turned his head to face Raine instead of the wall like how he normally slept. In that short amount of time, he had grown an irrational fear of seeing the sight that she had walked in on. What a horror that must have been for her! He nodded at her question, "I'll be okay.. I promise." He scooted his head closer to her shoulder and felt how cold her skin was. "Babe? Do you want something warmer to change into?" He asked. Without waiting for an answer, he uncovered himself and crawled over her.

Elliot went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of white sweat pants that were too small for him anyways, and a a black Good Charlotte band tee and returned to the bed. "These are probably warmer than your dress.. and more comfortable too." He was already in the same attire, but black sweats and, thanks to her, no shirt. He crawled back into the small twin bed and waited for her. When she had come back, Elliot readjusted his body so that he was laying on his side and facing her. "Raine?" He asked, feeling his eyes getting heavy. He checked the clock next to the bed.. 1:17AM. Awesome. Now, he was fighting to keep his eyes open to tell Raine one thing. "Raine... don't leave me tonight." There was a familiarity to his voice, but it was sad. "I need you to stay. I'm scared of myself and you're my only anchor."

It only took him roughly three more minutes after that to completely fall asleep. Her reply was fuzzy because the adrenaline pulsing through his body had completely worn itself out and replaced it with something else. Before he knew it, he was snuggled up next to her and had fallen asleep.

[Raine Gregory]

"I need you to stay. I'm scared of myself and you're my only anchor."

Raine smiled weakly when she heard those words because she knew that he loved her in that moment and they were infinite... He and Ashley had been lovers and maybe he was her soul mate but she couldn't have been his or maybe she was.. Maybe it's not that there's one person for everyone but several so if circumstances change then you get the one you're truly meant to be with in the end. She was trying to keep herself awake for his sake but she stopped fighting when she saw that he had drifted off into dream world.

Hopefully this would be the start of a new day.. They were Raine and Elliot! The perfect faithful loving couple! She missed it when she was the envy of her single friends, hell, she use to be the envy of some of her taken friends as well! He was her sweet British prince who treated her like she was the best damn thing in the world and would never imagine hurting her as deeply as he had done now. Not even Raine truly realized how deep that her emotional wounds were from this whole situation.

She fell asleep thinking of how wonderful that he was as a man and how great of a boyfriend that he had been and she knew that he was going to be. She had a really good feeling when she was drifting off that this was a new beginning for them and that they were going to be back to the perfect couple that they once were. She was perfectly happy in those few moments but it changed so suddenly that she didn't even fully understand. It felt so real.. Like it was actually happening.

She dreamed that he had stirred next to her but she didn't move because she was unaware. She was seeing everything as if she was someone in the room watching and not herself. She saw him get up and reach for the gun but, again, she didn't move and then he lifted his gun up and shot himself in the head with a smile on his face. It felt so real that she actually thought that it was... The blood and the screaming.. She saw him laying there on the floor completely lifeless as he bled out and she couldn't stop screaming. She was, however, not aware that she was screaming and crying in her sleep. "Elliot! No! No! Baby, please!"

She woke up with a nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach and she was shaking violently with tears streaming down her face. She looked over to Elliot and shook him a couple of times, "Elliot! Please! Wake up.. Wake up..." She sobbed with a desperation, "Please... Baby... I need you.. I need you to wake up." She had her hands on his chest to see if he was breathing and then she was frantically checking his pulse to make sure that he wasn't dead next to her. What if he had poisoned himself? She could barely see through the tears and she was having trouble breathing.

She felt dizzy as she moved over to the side of the bed and reached for the trashcan even though she could barely see it. She hated that she was such an emotional vomit-er. She could never get hysterical without throwing up! It was like her body didn't know how to handle this but there was very little to throw up in her body so she was mostly throw heaving. Why hadn't he woken up yet? Was he dead? Oh dear.. There came the stomach bile.

[Elliot Gates]

Elliot couldn't have been asleep for much longer than an hour, but his dreams were something of a nightmare. They were like something you would read from a deranged poet from the 1800's. His, specifically, was about Eric and Raine.

They were standing in the quiet dorm room, the walls blackened with jealousy and hatred, a feud between brothers. Elliot looked up from the bloodstained bed that he was laying in, pain shooting into his wrists. Razor wire was wrapped around them so tightly that it was cutting through the skin at the slightest move. He looked up from the bed and saw Raine standing with an emotionless face. Eric was behind her, handing her the gun that Elliot had locked away in the safe just hours ago. "Do it. Put the rabid mutt out of it's poor misery." Eric had ordered. The sadistic fuck had begun laughing as Raine did as he had commanded. She raise the gun, aimed it at him, and pulled the trigger. When she realized what she had just done, she had come running up to his lifeless body and was shaking him, begging for him to wake up.

He had come partially out of his dream state and was confused as to why Raine was shaking him and checking his pulse. The sound of her throwing up made him jump awake. "Ah, fuck!" Startled, he flew right off the edge and inbetween the wall and bed where he had been at the beginning of the night. Quickly, Elliot jumped back up and looked at the area as if it were the devil himself. "Raine?" He asked, now almost fully awake. He pulled her hair back and out of her face and used his free hand to rub her back. "Shhh, baby, it's okay." He rested his mouth over her shoulder blade, hoping whatever made her start this would quickly end.

Elliot tucker her hair behind her ears and made sure that it would fall back into her face. He stood up and went into the mini fridge by the door and rummaged through the scarce supply inside. He pulled out a Capri Sun and closed it before digging through his snack drawer for some animal crackers. Elliot returned to the bed and set the snack on the heater next to the bed. It wasn't on, and he could tell by the temperature of the room. He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling it back everytime. "Will you be all right?" He asked.

[Raine Gregory]

Raine felt relief when he fell off of the bed which she knew was harsh considering that it couldn't have been enjoyable for him. It was giving her a sense of comfort to know that he was alive and well but she still couldn't shake the image of him laying lifeless on the floor in a pool of his own blood and brain pieces. She couldn't get the idea of her head that she would have had to be the one who called for help and possibly told his parents that she had just seen their son laying dead on his dorm floor and how it was all her fault. They would rightfully hate her, of course, and she would probably be forbidden from ever visiting England not that she would want to because everything there would likely just remind her of him.

She glanced over to him and wiped her mouth off with her hand as she tried to calm down enough that she could speak to him and vocalize everything that was going on through her head. "Elliot.." She began but she had to stop because it felt like her throat was closing and she just couldn't speak. She honestly gave up for a couple of short moments before she resumed her attempt to speak, "I had a nightmare..." She nodded slowly and explained everything that had happened in her dream in such vivid detail that it felt like she was reliving the horrible moment. She could even describe the smell that she had in the dream.. The smell of dead decaying body even though she knew that he wouldn't be smelling like anything so soon after death and she stench of blood in the air.

She broke off into sobs and dry heaving after she finished retelling all of the details and she knew that she was being weak.. She was taking the attention that he deserved. He was the one who tried to kill himself! She should have been the one taking care of him not the other way around but she felt too physically (and emotionally) weak to even begin to fight him. She set down the trash can and laid against the wall with her Capri Sun. She took slow sips of it and looked at him with a pathetic expression. She was pale like a ghost and she was using one arm to clench her abdomen. It felt like someone was ripping apart her stomach and she wanted to cry in pain but she knew it'd only scare him.. He didn't need to worry more about her than he already was.

"My stomach hurts." She mumbled weakly before she reached a hand out for him to hold onto. What was going on with her? How was she so unable to do anything right? She honestly felt like the world's biggest failure of a girlfriend. She was suppose to be taking care of him and yet he was doing all of this for her and she was just asking for more and more... Like a selfish bitch. "Please... Please..." She didn't even know what she was begging for - she kind of hoped that he would know.

[Raine Gregory]

Raine was one hundred percent set on lying to Elliot about what had happened for as long as physically possible. She knew that he was eventually going to have to tell him exactly what had happened but she just didn't want to say it in the car so she sort of avoided the topic on the ride from the hospital back to his dorm. She faked a migraine to get out of him questioning her about who or what caused these injuries to her. It wasn't such a bad thing that he worried for her and that he wanted to make sure that she was okay by not allowing her to walk alone when she was hurt. What kind of girlfriend was she to tell him not to do that? He was only trying to be a gentleman.

She felt like she owed him some big explanatory lie due to the circumstances of Ashley's death at the hands of her father but she couldn't possibly lie to him after trysting him with something so precious to her. They'd made love the other night and that really meant something to her even if it didn't mean as much to him because he had already done it with his last girlfriend. She leaned almost all of her weigh against him as they walked through the hallway to his dorm room. She just felt weak.. numb.. not because of a medical issue but because she was just tired from fighting with her parents and dodging questions. Part of her wanted to curl up on his bed and sleep away the pain and the other part wanted to tell him every single detail about what happened.

She immediately plopped down on his bed with a heavy sigh when Elliot opened the door. She knew that it was about time that she explained herself but she just didn't know the best possible way to say it. What if she said it wrong and he grabbed a gun and shot himself? What if he tried to do something stupid and irresponsible just because she said something in the wrong way? "Hey baby...." She began but she fell short and had to try and think of a better way to explain it. She had obviously never been in this situation before.

Her wrist was beginning to throb so she pulled the bottle of pain medication out of her purse and attempted to open it up but the child safety cap proved impossible to open one handed. "Fuck... If you open this then I will tell you everything that happened leading up to my mom pushing me down the stairs."

[Elliot Gates]

Elliot had played it off like he'd forgotten about Raine's birthday by not even mentioning it to her while they were on the phone. In reality, he had been planning out a cute, intimate little night all for her. He went out and bought a ton of decorated candles to set the romance, a new red shirt for the occasion, and a record player for her gift. He'd been finding her old records that she would now be able to play, and he was excited for her to see it. He quickly showered and dressed, making sure that his tie was straight and his shoes were shined. He wasn't completely sure why he was trying so hard to look nice because they weren't going anywhere, but maybe he just wanted to look dressed up for her.

After they'd gotten off the phone, Elliot started setting up all of the candles around his room. The light they radiated was more than enough to see, and he made sure they weren't anywhere that could start a fire. Wouldn't that just be terrible? For a second, he stopped and started at the area in between his wall and his bed where he had once hunkered down and was on the verge of ending everything. His brows furrowed at the thought about the memory and he got the notion to do some slight rearranging before Raine arrived. He pushed his bed around and against the wall and moved his desk next to it before hanging up a stream of lights that he had in his closet. He pulled his black comforter off and replaced it with a down-feathered white one that was more comfortable anyways. Elliot made the bed and continued on his his candle chores.

He felt better with the room looking different. It was like it was a new beginning and he was happy because he got to spend it with the girl that he so very much loved. He was starting to feel the anxiety building up inside him as he paced the floor going over the end details. To kill some time, he fingered through his large collection of records and decided on one that dated back to the 60's. It was romantic and classical piano and set the mood just perfectly. Now feeling accomplished, Elliot sat on the edge of the bed and waited for his penguin to arrive. 

[Raine Gregory]

(( www.polyvore.com/raine/set?id=95269824 ))

Raine was trying not to let her and Elliot's recent lack of action in the sheets affect her confidence and it was working for the most part.. Until today, of course. She'd lost it when she realized that today was her birthday and the most romantic day of the year and he had as much interest in her as Dallas Kennedy did in becoming someone's prison bitch. Actually, she was almost one hundred percent sure that the other male was incredibly gay and he would actually probably like if some huge tattooed man took him by surprise to show him what a real man feels like. That thought made her smile which was enough of a happiness boost to get her through getting ready and putting those failure penguin cake pops into a container. She'd made something similar before only it was itty bitty chickens and she wasn't completely sure where she'd gone wrong with these ones.

She had been extremely distracted (totally not doing freaky amazing things with her shower head) when she'd baked these ones so she was planning on blaming that for the clear failure. She'd tasted one and it wasn't half bad so that kept her from a total nervous breakdown. Did it even matter if they looked or tasted delicious at this point? He was clearly not into her anymore and this was probably just an invitation to their breakup. It wasn't her fault that she'd gotten hurt! She hadn't done it on purpose to ruin their relationship and apparently kill whatever sexual feelings that he had for her since he wasn't feeling the same itch that she was. She hadn't considered the possibility that he could have another girl on the side until this very moment. What if he did have some little hot slice that he was getting it from while she was unable to put out and just couldn't give it up?

It broke her heart to think that he was getting what he needed from someone else and it took everything that she had in her not to pull her car over and break into hysterics on the side of the road. What had she just gotten herself into? She didn't want to go to his dorm and find out what she just knew that he was going to tell her. She just needed to be the strong girl that she had been before she met him and accept the fact that she couldn't change everything. She could sit around and pout or do something about it.. dump him before he could hurt her. She just felt like this past year of her life had been a complete and utter waste leading up to him telling her that he never truly loved her.

Walking to his dorm felt like she was walking to the electric chair and she almost wondered if it was obvious by her snail like pace. It wouldn't be the first time that he'd ruined something for her - their almost first time came to mind and all the work that she'd been into it only to end up tossing it out the window. Literally. She was almost in tears when she finally reached his door. She usually walked right in but she took the time to actually knock this time. She wanted to delay this as long as possible.