Finn Comes Home~ Binn

[Finnick Radke]

He had only been in the hospital for a week and a half after he woke up from the coma. Even still, Finn was weak but he was able to stand and walk just fine for short distances. What's sad is that his body was stronger than his mind. There had been a few nights where Finn woke up from a deep sleep in sweats and had been tossing and turning because of his bad dreams. He was scared to fall asleep, he was scared that the darkness he saw was going to engulf him, swallowing him into inexsistance. 

His doctor was letting him go home today though and he couldn't have been happier to get out of that bland hospital room. Carolyn picked him and Bee up and drive them back to their house. He stretched when they stepped out of the car and offered to take the bags in. His mother quickly declined his offer and assured him that she would be fine and that he and Bee should head on inside. He hated his mom having to do things like that for him because wasn't currently capable of all that much on his own. He was thankful that he could at least walk all by himself. He took Bee's hand and headed inside. Once they got into his room on the second floor, he looked at the clock and remembered that Parker was still in school and wouldn't be home for another two hours.

Finn carefully sat on his bed, feeling an ache run up his spine from his ribs as he did so. With a deep, relieving sigh, he offered Bee a tiny smile. "It's good to be home." He said. It hadn't crossed his mind how much she might have missed her family because she was too busy making sure her boyfriend wasn't dying. He had felt guilty for her staying up there even though he told her on many occasions that she should go home, get some real rest, and go see her friends and family. She however, insisted that she stay with him in case something happened. It wasn't like Finn was opposed to that, but he knew she had to be missing everyone else.

Carolyn popped her head inside his door, "Are you two hungry? Can I get you something to drink?" Finn shook his head but then nodded, "Yeah, I want some Sunny D.. but I'll get it, Mom." He said, wincing as he stood back up. "What do you want, Bee?" He asked, moving his hand to hold his ribs. 

[Beatrice Reynolds]

((  www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=92073151 ))

---

Beatrice would be lying if she said that she wasn't getting sick and tired of hanging out in the hospital every single day. Who could blame her? She spent every minute of her day sitting in an uncomfortable chair watching her boyfriend fight for his life. It wasn't that she resented him for being injured or ruining their holiday season.. Okay maybe a tiny part of her did resent him but he didn't need to know that! It wasn't his fault that his father was such a jackass and it wasn't like he planned on all of this happening. It was just that this was supposed to be /her/ year to be the girl that she'd always wanted to be and she was so busy watching him that none of that had happened. She hadn't even had the time to go and work out as part of her new years resolution! She was never going to get into 'Finn sexy time' shape if she didn't kick it up a notch.

There was clearly something terribly wrong with her body for Finn to not even find her remotely sexually appealing. She could still remember that day when he invited her to the lake and he said that he 'wanted to wait' and how tense that he was when she was on his lap like he felt intense shame for having such an unattractive girl hanging all over him. She'd never had these feelings about herself before so she wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to be doing about it. Ignore it and hope that he learned to deal with how hideous that her body was? Or fix it to better their relationship? She couldn't imagine herself ever asking him to change something about his body for her but that might have been because he clearly had a fabulous body.

She let out a heavy sigh when Carolyn asked them if they wanted anything to eat or drink. Why would she bring up food at a time like this? Sure she couldn't read minds so she had no idea what was racing through the nineteen year's old head but still! She wasn't planning on /never/ eating, she was just not going to eat anything that was even remotely bad for her. It wasn't Finn's fault that he didn't find fat rolls hanging off of her body attractive! She wouldn't either if she was in his shoes. "No baby! Stay.. Get comfortable in here and I'll bring you back up some Sunny D and a sandwich." He hadn't asked for a sandwich but she figured that he should probably eat something even if he wasn't exactly hungry. His body had been through a lot and certainly needed the extra nutrients.

She pulled out the Sunny D for him and the bottle of Snapple for herself before getting a plate down to make him the 'perfect' sandwich. If she couldn't make an attractive girlfriend then she'd have to get really good at making sandwiches. She had never put this much pressure on a simple sandwich before! She set some baby carrot sticks on the side once she was done and headed back up the stairs and into his bedroom with their drinks and his sandwich. "I made you something to eat, baby... I hope that you like it."

[Finnick Radke]

"It's okay, Bee. I can do it." Finn said, insisting that he was okay to walk to the kitchen on his own. When she persistently made him stay and get comfortable, he sat back down with a huff but smiled at how sweet she was. "Okay," He said, letting her go. While she went downstairs, he walked around his room, tired of laying down and sitting. He looked at the pictures on his walls and then ran his fingers over the papers and knickknacks on his desk. It was nice to be home, but being awake was hard. He was struggling with the fear he felt building inside him whether he was awake or asleep. He knew his recovery was going to be a 95 degree uphill battle.

When he heard Bee coming up the stairs, he quickly jumped on the bed, regretting that the second he did it because of the sharp pains that bolted through his body. He just clenched his teeth together and acted like it didn't hurt so she wouldn't worry if she had seen it. When she finally did get to his door and handed him the plate and drink, he grinned, "Aw, thank you, Bee. You didn't have to.." He started, knowing she was sick of hearing that. He was trying to let her do things for him because he knew that she liked to help and him always insisting that he do it either on his own or for her was probably getting old in her mind. Plus, he probably wouldn't have been able to get back up the stairs without dropping something.



~~ later that night, they're asleep ~~


Finn had fallen asleep sometime around 8:30 or so. He had talked Bee into staying at his house for the night, just in case his dreams got bad. He knew he wouldn't want anyone but Bee to be there. He had fallen asleep on the couch, and his mom woke him up and had Parker put him to bed. After he told Bee goodnight, Finn went without complaint and curled up under his blankets, soon falling back asleep.

It wasn't until later that night when the tossing and turning came. He was dreaming about the basement at his dad's house. The blackness of the room engulfing him, the alien texture of the box freezer and the sound of the padlock clicking. He could feel the blood from his fingertips caused by him trying to claw and dig his way out of the tiny area. He couldn't breathe. He was suffocating as the walls closed in and his paranoia increased drastically. "No........ no........... let me... let me out..... no! NOOO!" He started with mutters and ended with a bloody scream that woke him up and sent him into a world of terror. At first, he didn't know where he was and when he looked around, all he saw was the blackness of the basement.

Scared and alone, Finn jumped from his bed and hid underneath it for protection. It was causing him a lot of pain to be scrunched up underneath like he was. Finn's breathing was labored, and he knew Parker and his mom weren't going to come in because they were so used to hearing him screaming in his dreams already. He had forgotten that Bee was downstairs, so he didn't even think about her in the moment. All he knew what that he was alone in the dark and he felt his heart wanting to escape right out of his throat as he desperately tried to think of happy places. 

[Beatrice Reynolds]

((  www.polyvore.com/bee/set?id=92270433  ))

Peaceful sleep just refused to come to Beatrice tonight. She'd been tossing and turning on the couch for the past half an hour as she thought of all of the various things that she should be doing right now instead of laying on Finn's couch. She knew that her assignments would be there in the morning and they'd be just as overdue then as they were right now. She had actually tried to turn her laptop on and get some studying done and even crack open one of her textbooks but she just couldn't focus. She didn't feel 'at home' here not because Carolyn wasn't incredibly welcoming or that the couch wasn't comfortable because she knew for a fact that she could fall asleep just fine on this any other night. She was just really starting to feel homesick. She missed her dog and her cat and her bed. How selfish was that? Her boyfriend still needed her and she was off thinking about how much that she missed her house.

She had sort of fallen asleep at one point but that ended badly to say the least. Well, she'd been having a perfectly lovely erotic dream about her boyfriend. She woke up feeling all kinds of flustered and awkward despite the fact that she was in the living room alone. What if someone had heard her? Was she moaning in her sleep? What if his mother heard and assumed that his girlfriend was a slutty little bitch who would take advantage of her baby boy the very first night that he was at home. What if she assumed that they had been getting awfully kinky in the hospital? She didn't know her that well so how was she supposed to know that her precious son wasn't dating some desperate horny little hoe? The only way that she would really know would be if she asked all two of her previous sexual partners about her and that just seemed insane.

Maybe she was a desperate little horny hoe since she was thinking about having sex with Finn as soon as he was recovered enough. She had given her whole 'too fat to fuck' guess some thought and realized that she probably was way off on that department. She didn't have the perfect body but she certainly wasn't obese and she didn't need to diet or exercise to make him love her and want her sexually. Her new assumption was just that he was incredibly small and thin so he didn't want to pull it out one day only to be laughed at. She knew for a fact that she wasn't going to judge him for having a tiny insignificant penis but maybe he didn't realize that just yet. She was willing to give him another year or two before she started really pressing the issue but longer than that just wasn't going to work without some sort of explanation other than that he wanted to wait.

Wait for what exactly? Shouldn't this whole thing have taught him that you can't go waiting around forever because life could end at any moment? She obviously couldn't speak from personal experience but she assumed that if something like that had happened to her then she'd want to do everything. She wouldn't live in fear of sexual intercourse or love or anything because she'd recognize how lucky that she was to even be alive. She was almost completely sure that she shouldn't be judging him for his reaction so she felt slight shame for doing so. At least she wasn't planning on telling him how she was feeling, right? It was one thing to falsely judge him and a complete different thing to actually tell him what was going through her bitchy little head. She was trying not to think like that at least! She didn't want to make him feel bad about himself or anything so she attempted to clear her mind and once again get some sleep though she'd probably just end up taking a nap later in Finn's bed.

That was about the time when she heard screaming from upstairs that sounded a lot like Finn was having some sort of issue. Had he fallen? Did he need life alert? She quickly realized how insane that probably was and decided to do the more rational adult thing and actually check on him to see what was going on. She crept slowly up the stairs and tiptoed into his bedroom only to find that she didn't see him right away. Where could he possibly be hiding? She didn't see his window open or broken so she knew that he hadn't been kidnapped and she could hear heavy breathing which was all the more confusing. Closet? No... Could he fit under the bed? She didn't think so at first but she decided to check just in case.

She sneaked under with him and just smiled without any sort of explanation. "What's up?" She didn't ask him what was wrong really - she just pecked him on the forehead and stroked his arm in an attempt to comfort him as best as she could given the circumstances. "Is this like.. something that you guys do at night? I've never played this game before... I mean.. I used to hide under my bed but that was because I thought that I was a cat and I had to hide from the dog and hiss."

[Finnick Radke]

It wasn't going away. The dark just kept coming and there was nothing he could do but sit there with his eyes closed and hope that his mom or someone came in to turn the light on. As childish as that sounded, it was kind of normal. Finn felt a bead of sweat roll down his temple as he gripped what he could on the carpet. He heard someone walking around in his room and all he could think about was that his dad had broken into the house and was looking to finish what he started.




He opened his eyes and saw two feet in front of the bed. His heart was pounding against his chest and he tried to quietly slink further back as not to be spotted. That's when Bee's face showed up near the edge and he remembered that she was downstairs. He was confused about why he was so confused and why he was having such bad memory problems and hallucinations. It was more than likely a side effect of his medication.

He stayed quiet as she crawled under the bed with him and suddenly, he wasn't scared anymore. He felt safe when she was around him and he had never actually told her that. He'd never gotten the chance to. When she asked what he was doing under there, it took him a minute to remember how to use his voice. "I'm hiding from the b.... from the bad man." He whispered, suddenly feeling like a small child. With a heavy huff, he pulled his legs up to his chest the best he could and let out a little whimper from the pain. "He can't find me here. I can't get hurt. He can't touch me."

Unfortunately for her, she didn't know that 'he can't touch me' meant that he couldn't rip his pants off. Finn wasn't sure if she realized that the 'bad man' was a figment of his imagination but in his mind was his father. "Oh... wait.." He said, looking around for a second and continuing. "I'm talking about my dad.. you don't know about that, I don't think.."

[Beatrice Reynolds]

"Hey there... It's okay." Beatrice assured Finn with a clearly shaken tone. Who could the bad man be? She'd been scared of monsters hiding under the bed or in her closet since she was four years old and those fears still haunted her to this day. Was he trying to stop her from ever sleeping again? She didn't want to admit it but she was secretly relieved to hear that it was his father not a legitimate evil creature or spirit lurking through the house. She knew that their father couldn't possibly be out and on the streets right now so she wouldn't be lying when she told her boyfriend that he had nothing to worry about. How was she even supposed to comfort him? Words were great and all but she felt like a broken record just repeating that 'it was all okay' as she stroked his cheek. Would now be a bad time to try and show him her physical affection?

If the roles were reserved then she was sure that she'd want someone to make love to her and assure that they were there no matter what.. Something about the closeness of trusting someone sexually made her desperate to touch him right now. So, she started planting gentle kisses along his neck and lips while occasionally letting out a whispered 'I love you'. She didn't know if this was going to freak him out like most of her other offerings of physical pleasure had but it was worth a shot since she really didn't know what else to do. She didn't immediately reach to pull down his pants or anything of the sort - she was going to take this nice and slow before making it clear what she had on her mind. There was no reason to scare him!

She kept the kissing and whispering of sweet nothings into his ear up for a little while before slowly reaching towards the hemline of his pants. She didn't undo them or even touch the fabric. She wanted to make absolutely sure that they were both on the same page, "Finn... baby.. Do you want me to make you feel all better? I know that making love won't fix everything but I think that maybe if we love each other enough then we can get you through this together." She nodded slowly before pulling her hand away and running it through his hair. She knew that he was either going to go for it or freak out and once again leave her feeling worthless and pathetic. "I know that a lot has been going on with you lately so.. Maybe this will get your mind off of it."

She cleared her throat before letting out a small confession, "And I mean I've been feeling really down on myself lately so I can't imagine how you feel when you have to worry about your small two inches not being able to satisfy my sexual urges."

(BE GENTLE WHEN HE REJECTS HER - SHE'S SENSITIVE)

[Finnick Radke]

The touch of her lips on his skin sent a shiver down his spine and he felt like he was melting. His hand involuntarily went to her side and slowly moved down to her hip where it stopped. Finn knew what she was doing, and half of him was saying it was okay, while the other half, the stronger more rational half, was screaming at him to stop her from doing anything. He went along with it against his better judgement and tried to relax a little. There wasn't much she could do to him under the bed so he wasn't actually worried. "Bee?" He started before kissing her.

He felt discouraged when she mentioned something about making love, mostly because he had pushed her away so many times. He understood that she was a woman and a woman with needs... lots of needs. He really did feel bad that he was probably the only guy in the school that was able to hold off on sex even when he had a beautiful girl throwing herself in his direction. He had to be crazy, right? He pulled away from her when she mentioned his potential size problem and he furrowed his brows. "That's not it, but thanks for the vote of confidence." He said flatly and pushed himself out from under the bed. Finn flicked on the dim little lamp that sat on his desk and shut the door behind him. 

When Bee came out from under the bed as well, Finn sat on the edge and let her sit next to him. He was tired and frustrated of always being the downer in the relationship because his dad was one sick fuck. He couldn't even go one day without having some kind of episode which normally happened at night while he was having nightmares and tremors. "Bee~" Finn said, looking at his hands in his lap. Without saying anything else, he turned his head towards her and then went in for a kiss. It was by far a much more heated and passionate kiss than anything he'd ever given her, but he'd made up his mind to try.

He didn't care about the fact that his broken body was inflicting sharp pains every time he moved. And he didn't care that he was going to be mentally freaking out the whole time and that he was going to be too nervous to actually enjoy the whole act.. but if Bee really, truly wanted it that much, he would sacrifice his feelings to ensure that she was happy. Finn wasn't even sure how to start, so he just kissed her until her back was on the bed and he was laying next to her with his arm over her chest and his hand laid gently on the side of her neck, his fingers playing with the under of her blonde hair. 

[Beatrice Reynolds]

Beatrice didn't seriously think that Finn was going to go along with her little 'let's make love to make you feel better' speech especially after he made his little comment about how the size issue wasn't it. What else could it possibly be? She didn't want to argue so she just quietly emerged from under the bed. Her limbs much appreciated the fact that she wasn't all cramped up like that anymore so that was one plus even if her ego was likely bruised beyond repair. She obviously wasn't going to say anything to Finn but this whole 'I don't want to have sex but I also don't want to tell you why so lol fuck you' thing was getting old and not just because she was seriously craving the D. It was becoming a respect thing - he didn't respect her enough to acknowledge her need for closeness or her right to know why he didn't want it.

She would understand if he'd ever once just given her a solid reason like 'I'm waiting until marriage' or 'I have a fear that if I have sex with a woman then her vagina will eat me'. She was just about to ask him what the hell was going on when he said her name and then all of the sudden, he was kissing her. Did he realize that she was going to start thinking that he actually wanted this now? She didn't really let herself get into the kiss by distracting herself with thoughts of big scary monsters in the night like the tooth fairy. She'd always believed that there was something up with the tooth fairy since she (or he) was this person with strange wings who comes into your house and steals your teeth in exchange for a twenty. What did she do with the teeth? Did she sell them for millions? Was she ripping children off on a daily basis?

Her method actually worked and she didn't find herself getting all heated up while he was kissing her even as he got her on her back. She smiled a little weakly as she reached up to pull her shirt off and over her head. She tossed it in some random spot in the room before giving him a deep passionate kiss. She didn't want to pressure this issue or make him uncomfortable so she didn't want to rip his clothes off of him. He could do that, right? "I haven't really had the chance to work out lately.. I'm sorry.." She didn't really have any extra weight on her but she felt like she ought to apologize anyway. What if he had been expecting her to have a better body and she disappointed him? What if seeing her made his penis as limp as a noodle? Not that she felt anything.. going on in that department as it was. Maybe he seriously just wasn't turned on by her.

"Do you like what you see yet?" He wasn't really seeing anything considering that she still had her bra on so she carefully reached to undo it and toss that away as well. How much was she going to take off? She slipped out of her pants and decided that was enough. She didn't want to take her lacy little thong off until she was completely sure that this was actually happening this time. "Do.. I think you're wearing too much if you... if we're going to do this." She slowly reached to pull his pants down just a little - she was being so gentle with him like he was a newborn fawn and she couldn't scare him with sudden movements.

[Finnick Radke]

Finn wasn't sure what he was doing now. He wanted to give into his sexual teenage hormones, but on the other hand, that overpowering voice inside his head was screaming at him to stop before he did something he was going to regret. Even though he knew all about the birds and the bees and that it was normal and human to want to have sex, but he thought that he would be violating her no matter what she said to try and convince him otherwise. 

He looked away when she pulled her shirt off, but his curiosity got the better of him and he slowly turned back around. He was already so nervous, but she seemed to be wanting his attention pretty badly and he felt bad for shunning her for so long. He felt his heart skip a little bit when she asked him if he liked what he saw. At first, Finn was scared to look down, but yet again his curiosity got to him before he could do anything and he looked down, his hands trailing down her sides. It was sweet and gentle and barely even a touch. "You're beautiful, Bee." He said, his finger trailing over her stomach.

When she unclasped her bra and let it fall, Finn avoided looking down and just looked at her face. He felt slightly uncomfortable because he didn't know if it was okay to touch her like how he imaged he should, so when Bee took his hands and placed them on her breasts, his face got red. "Bee..?" He started, scared now that she'd taken off her pants and was saying that he was wearing too many clothes. 

He swallowed hard and awkwardly slipped out of his white t-shirt. That's when he got the bright idea that he didn't have to go all the way and she didn't have to touch his no-no square and that would ultimately mean that he wouldn't freak out and have an episode. Finn adjusted so that he was hovered over her and he bent down to copy what she'd done earlier with the neck kisses. This was all so new and frightening and excited that he didn't know what to think of it.

"...I love you, Bee.. and... and you're absolutely perfect. I'm not ready to... go far yet, but..." Finn paused and ran his hand down her body until he reached the hem of her panties. With every ounce of courage he had in him, he slipped his shaky hand on the inside of the fabric. It wasn't long before he was asking if she was okay with it. He'd never do anything that she didn't agree with and if she told him to stop, he would in a heartbeat. 

[Beatrice Reynolds]

Every second of hesitation that Finn showed felt like a bullet directed at Beatrice's heart. Why wouldn't he look at her even a little bit? Did he really find her so unattractive that he couldn't even stand to take a peak at her body? Who was he to judge her when he hadn't even seen it yet? She bit down on her bottom lip and tried not to let her currently frazzled and extremely overly sensitive emotions to get the best of her. She couldn't just go around sobbing right now just because her boyfriend didn't want to look at her! Relief filled her body when he finally looked down at her and told her that she was beautiful. How could she be silly enough to think that she was actually in danger of not being considered good looking to him? It wasn't like she was some chunky little bitch trying to get all up on him!

They were in a perfectly loving relationship and the fact that she was so insecure about her appearance was eventually going to affect their relationship. She couldn't imagine how it would make him feel if he knew that he was the cause of this terrible self-loathing that she felt. She knew that he cared for her enough that he'd want her to be happy just as she wanted him to be. Was her pressuring sex doing exactly the opposite of that? She wasn't trying to do anything like that though she supposed it was possible that she could be inadvertently doing it just as he was not intending to make her feel like a worthless pathetic desperate little whore. Unfortunately, she was starting to feel like there was no real way for them both to be happy. If he was truly against sex then she'd never get the one thing that would make her feel better.

She kind of sensed that maybe he wanted to touch her breasts but wasn't sure if he had 'permission' to do it or something so she reached over to place his hands over her lovely lady lumps. She couldn't help but giggle when his face got red and he just looked so darn cute! "Finn, it's okay if you want to play or fondle my boobs.. I'm not going to be like offended or anything." She just wanted him to know without a doubt that it was absolutely okay for him to do whatever felt right to him. She forgot how innocent and naive that virgins could be sometimes.

Him pulling off his shirt definitely made Bee feel a little more at ease and less uncomfortable than she had been since she was laying almost naked on his bed while he was still fully clothed. "You have a really amazing body, baby." She murmured as he started kissing her neck. This was all so exciting and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Were they ready to take this step together? She always thought that he was the one who didn't want to go all the way and she would be down for it whenever but now she wasn't so sure. What if having sex somehow changed their relationship? She sort of wanted to ask him if they could do other things instead but she knew that she'd look like a giant hypocrite if she admitted that she was scared to death of his penis going inside of her body.

"...I love you, Bee.. and... and you're absolutely perfect. I'm not ready to... go far yet, but..."

She tried to contain her sigh of relief when he said that he wasn't ready to go that far but he was ready to satisfy some of her more intense sexual desires. She let out a soft moan as he reached his hand inside of her panties and knew that he was going to ask her if this was okay.. It definitely was. "Finn, I want you to do this." She nodded slowly and moved her lips to his in a tender kiss. She didn't want him to feel like he was doing something wrong.