I wanna go home~

[Dallas Kennedy]

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The previous night was rock bottom. He had gotten desperate enough to actually take such a chance with the little amount of cocaine and that was one thing he never thought would happen. It scared him. It was so easy to get his hands on and it was so easy to do and the after effects gave him what he wanted; freedom. It also made him terrified. He went roaming the streets of New York by himself at an hour when most crime happened. What if he got mugged? What if he walked out in front of a car? What if he had gotten shot? All of this was running through his head as he was packing his things into suitcases in the apartment.

Kevin popped his head inside Dallas' bedroom and was confused at the sight. "Where you going?" He asked. Dallas didn't answer him right away and zipped up the black bag. When he was done, he placed his hands on his hips and sighed before answering his friend. "Home." Dallas didn't look at Kevin because he didn't want to see any more disappointment. "Home? What do you mean home?" Kevin asked, genuinely confused. "Home, Kevin. Like.. Kentucky." Dallas returned, almost sounding annoyed. "What? Why, Dal?" Kevin continued, now stepping inside the room. "I can't explain it. I just.. I need to go home." Dallas said, his voice cracking just a little bit. Kevin's face got sad but he understood. Dallas was his best friend, the two were like brothers. Kevin nodded and walked up to his friend, "I don't want you to go, but I understand~" He said, seeing the hurt on Dally's face.

Kevin helped Dallas load his bags up in his car and when Dallas had his last bag, he was stopped by his ever-faithful kitty who meowed at his feet. "I'm sorry, buddy. I wish I could take you with me." He said, bending down to pet Arturo. "Don't give me that look, I don't wanna leave you. Uncle Kevin's gonna take care of you, okay?" He said, giving his cat a little squeeze before grabbing his bag and walking down the stairs with a heavy chest. He was on the verge of a breakdown and he could feel it coming on. His heart felt like someone had it in a vice grip it ached so badly. Before Dallas got outside to where Kevin was waiting by the car, Dallas wiped his face and made sure there wasn't any evidence that he was tearing up.

"Is that it?" Kevin asked when Dallas reached him. He had put his Somerset letterman on and sent Esme a text. "Come here," Kevin said, opening his arms wide for a hug, which Dallas practically fell into. "I'm gonna miss you, brother." Kevin said, giving Dallas a pat on the back. "I hope things work out, but no matter what, you're always welcome here, okay? Mi casa es su casa." Dallas thanked him and shut the truck on his Chevelle. "I'll come visit this spring, and I'll bring Arturo." Kevin added which made Dallas' chest get even tighter. He just nodded in return. "I'll see you, Kev." Dallas said as Kevin started to walk off. 

When he was inside, Dallas sat in the driver's seat and shut the door. That's when he fell apart. He slammed his fists against the steering wheel and admitted his defeat as the tears started to fall. He locked the doors and rested his forehead on the wheel as he held his stomach with both arms. He didn't want to go home. He just wanted the world to stop. He wanted to the hurt to cease and the agony to vanish. He wanted to be better. He wanted someone to save him.

 

[Thalia Manson]

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Thalia was in her room blowing drying her hair when her phone went off and it was a text from Dallas saying bye. She knew he had talked about wanting to leave but she never thought he would. She unplugged her soon to be getting hot hair straightener before grabbing her shows slipping them on and getting her keys. She shut and locked her dorm door before running to her car. After going to Dallas's apartment in a cab, she had learned a couple quick routes to get there a fast as she could. Her mustang had been leaking its oil a lot lately so she hasn't been driving it, but right now she didn't have to time to call a cab.

The traffic was terrible on the ride there and her hands were shaking as she switched gears in her car. She was so worried she would miss him and he would be gone already. She was going to do everything in her power not to let him leave. He was the only reason she honestly wanted to come to Somerset. And she knew he loved it here in New York and that just made him even more confused on why he would be leaving to go back home. Plus, he was starting to do good with his drinking after the day on the roof. Or so he told her anyways , other than when Esme found him wandering the streets

Thalia needed him though, and that wasn't in a physical way. She needed him mentally and emotionally. If he didn't stop by her dorm the day after she passed out from being on Xanax... She probably would be planning her death right now on how to kill herself. He knew how to keep her going and to keep her okay. She would so anything to make him feel good about himself , help him with anything he needed, stay an watch him 24/7 if she had to so she could stop him from drinking so much. She didn't know if showing up before he was about to leave would work, but she was going to give it a try.

She made a sharp turn into his parking lot and pulled in beside his Chevelle before getting taking the key out of her car placing the keys on her hood before walking over to Dallas's car. It was freezing out and she totally wasn't dressed to be out in this kind of weather but she didn't care. When she got to his car door and she saw him crying... Her heart pretty much broke in half. She knocked lightly on his window hoping not to scare him although he probably heard her car as soon as she pulled in since she had a Supercharge in her engine and that shit was badass and sounded awesome.

After she knocked on the window she stepped back encase he opened the door or anything and looked at him through the window. "Dally, baby open the door or unlock the passenger side... Talk to me." Her voice was gentle and soft as she met his eyes. She couldn't even begin to imagine what could be going through his head right now. She still couldn't grasp the fact he was actually about to leave. That alone hurt her, and seeming him sitting crying in his car hurt her even more.

[Dallas Kennedy]

"Fuck," Dallas squeezed out through a shaky voice. He was hardly ever one to break down like this but considering everything, he didn't even care in that moment. He knew leaving without warning was going to hurt Esme. He knew that when Thalia got there and he was gone, she would be heart broken. Kevin was sad but he understood why he felt he needed to leave. The growing ache from within him just kept getting bigger the more hysterical he became before finally, he remembered to breathe. He was still crying, but breathing was helping him calm down a little bit. 

The last time Dallas had cried this hard was the morning after Kat left. The only other time he had ever felt that empty was the first time his dad had hit him when he was little. The betrayal and fear he felt was overpowering and it really scarred him for a long time. And now? What was he doing but abandoning the three people that meant everything to him? How was this any different? He wasn't even taking their feelings and their lives into account but if he stopped to think about it, he wouldn't ever leave so he kept his mind from wondering there.

Dallas pulled his left hand up and over his face and held it over his eyes as he heard a pretty loud engine somewhere. He was trying to catch his breath as he was slowly calming down from his mass hysteria. He wiped his face on the inside of his shirt and decided it was time to go. It was a thirteen hour long drive to Middlesboro, Kentucky and it was already ten in the morning. Just as he leaned forward to turn the key, there was a knock at his window which scared the hell out of him. "Jesus Christ!" He called out, not wanting to look and see who it was, but did out of instinct. Lord, it Thalia. His heroine had come to his rescue and here he was, contemplating on just driving off. He only looked at her for a split second before turning his head towards that passenger door. There wasn't any way for him to hide the fact that he had been crying, but he sniffled deeply and tried to act like nothing was the matter.

With a heavy sigh, Dallas turned back towards her and then reached over to unlock the passenger's side door. It was probably below freezing at outside and she shouldn't be standing out there in that. He waited for her to get in as he stared out the windshield. His hands were shaking and he felt weak in that moment and when she got in, he braced himself for the worst. She had to be angry with him. She had to be..

[Esme Russel]

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"Oh sweetie... Mommy's here and she's going to make it all better, okay?" Esme hadn't been the best mother to Cici over the past week or so because she was so focused on trying to keep Dallas alive and she was trying to change that. "Come on.. Let's get you all better, love." She didn't really quite know how she was supposed to make her feel better other than holding her on the couch and taking her to the hospital if her fever got any higher. The pediatrician office had told her already not to give her anything over the counter so that took that right off the list. Jonathan was truly a godsend for being such a supportive partner during all of this. Someone had to pick up the slack for her with their daughter and with the pets... and the house upkeep. It wasn't fair that he had to, sure he was her father but he wasn't exactly sitting at home all day. He was taking free time from his job to take on duties that she was supposed to be doing. She didn't necessarily mind having to go and save Dallas - he was her best friend and she knew that he would do the same for her in a heartbeat but that didn't change the fact that she had this intense guilt over leaving her daughter when she was clearly sick. 

Cici had just stopped crying and curled up in her arms when her phone went off and she got that awful text message from Dallas. What did he mean by that? Bye as in 'life is too hard bye forever' or 'I'm leaving' bye? She contemplated not going and just staying here with her baby because she didn't know what he was going to do and she didn't know if he really needed her. Couldn't he always call Thalia? She only decided to go because she got this terrible thought that maybe he really needed her this time.. Maybe he couldn't tell Thalia what was going on and she was the only one who could keep him from making a huge mistake. She nearly cried as she once again handed her hysterical infant to her father. She knew that she'd be fine and Jon would be able to soothe her just like he'd done the other times but it tore her heart apart to hear her saying 'Mama' and reaching out for her. She just didn't understand that sometimes she couldn't be there. She wanted nothing more than to turn around and cuddle her baby and her husband but she couldn't risk it. She'd never forgive herself if something were to happen to him that she could have easily prevented by not being a selfish little cunt face.

The drive was torture as she imagined all of the terrible things that could have happened to him while she was driving. What if she was just a little too late? She parked on the other side of his Chevelle. She rolled her eyes when she noticed that Thalia fucking Manson was already there. Why did he even bother telling her if he already had Thalia there? Did he seriously forget that she had a husband and a baby now? Not including the one that she was carrying around in her uterus! She considering just driving off and pretending that she'd never been there but she knew that it was too late for that non-sense. She got out of her Range Rover and slowly made her way to Thalia's side. "Oh honey.." He looked like he'd been crying and suddenly all those angry feelings went away and she was right back to feeling like mothering him. "Dallas honey... Don't do this. Don't go." She wanted to reach over to wipe his tears away but she figured that'd be crossing the line so she just wanted him a tissue from her purse. "Why don't we talk about this?"

She didn't mean to use that tone with him again but it just come out naturally these days. She associated him with her helpless little girl.. No biggie. 

[Thalia Manson]

Thalia jumped when she heard him call out for Jesus, and held back a small chuckle. She watched as he turned away then turned back to her pretty much giving her the look that the door was open. She walked around from his window of the car to the passenger side and slid inside closing the door. She sat there quietly looking at him just letting the heat soak into her body before she turned in her seat so she was facing him and grabbed one of his shaking hands. She placed a hand on his cheek softly and turned his face so he wasn't looking out at the windshield.

"Look at me Dallas," she paused for a second when their eyes met and she wiped a couple tears from his cheeks almost like he did to a couple days ago in her dorm when she was breaking down right in front of him too. "Look, if you think leaving and going home will be best for you... I can't stop you hun, there's just no way. You need to do what you feel will be best for you in the long wrong, and if you feel that's it. Then I understand if you feel like you need to go." She felt a couple tears forming in her eyes as she spoke. She didn't want to see him leave, but when you're in such a bad state like he is... Sometimes the best thing could be to go home and be with family.

She blinked a couple times letting the tears go away before looking over when she heard a car pull up. Of course Esme would show up. She wasn't upset about it though, she knew herself and Esme were two of Dallas's closest friends. And if he texted her too, then it wasn't big deal. She looked at Esme as she got in and began talking to Dallas in that annoying motherly voice mothers did to their kids, but then again... Esme was a mother so that's probably how she talked to everyone now a days.

"Please don't go Dallas. You have people who care about you so much here, and who want nothing but for you to be happy. Esme and I , we'd do anything for you. We don't want to see you go. " Thalia squeezed his hand gently which was still in her's and offered him a small smile.

[Dallas Kennedy]

He could see the pain on Thalia's face and anyone could feel the tension in the air. He let her take his hand, but didn't bother to look at her as he wiped his face on his free arm and cleared his throat. He didn't say anything just yet and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to. His mind was in so many different places at once that he wasn't sure if he was in a state for words. He was tossing around the idea of seriously asking her to step out so he could leave, but on the other hand, he was thankful that she was there.

When she put her soft, gentle hand on his cheek and turned his face towards her, he pulled away and looked over his shoulder and out his window. Look at me. She had said, in which he flicked his eyes to their hands and then turned his head. His eyes went from their hands, to her arm, to her shoulder, her lips, and lastly to Thalia's big blue eyes. When she placed her hand back on his cheek, he slightly leaned into it before closing his eyes for just a moment. Dallas hadn't ever noticed it before, but her touch was so welcomed and so gentle that it made his body tingle. He felt safe with her, much like he did when he was with Esme but it was more intense. He listened to her and connected that what she and Kevin were saying was that leaving was a big mistake but he was still leaning towards taking that risk.

It wasn't but a few moments later that he looked over Thalia's shoulder and say Esme at the window and opening the door. Just the fact that both of them were here and telling him that they didn't want him to leave meant more than anything else at the moment. He was in such a fragile state that he felt like he could just completely go insane at any second and with the two of them there, he felt grounded. They were his anchor. It was then when he realized that he hadn't said one word to either of them and he swiftly retrieved his hand out of Thalia's. "You guys suck, you know that?" He grunted, his voice just slightly cracking. Dallas looked down at his hands that had stopped shaking all together, sniffled, and the looked back up to both of them. 

There was a long moment of silence in the car before Dallas spoke again. He shook his head and started quietly, "I don't know what I'm doing." His brows furrowed and he pursed his lips trying to make sense of it all. "I...... I don't wanna leave. I don't really wanna stay neither.." It was in that moment that he realized how many times he had ran from his problems. His mom sending him here with his aunt and uncle wasn't really his choice, but he moved into the dorm when their rules got too strict. He and Esme ran from everything when they went to Maine. Dallas ran from Kat when he had the guilt of cheating on her by hiding in his car shop and made every excuse not to see her. He was a runner and right now? what was he doing? Running.

Dallas was so fucking frustrated as he let off a deep and very heavy sigh. "God damn." He huffed, leaning forward and bumping his forehead into the center of the steering wheel which made the horn honk. His shoulders lightly bounced up and down because he was laughing at it, but still trying to hide the fact because he didn't mean to laugh.