Thalia's Dorm

[Thalia Manson]

(( www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=91201703 ))

Thalia had a smile grow across her face when he was talking about being sober. She placed a hand on his shoulder and shook it playfully. "That's great Dallas that you've been sober though!!!!" She couldn't help but grab him and hug him once more. "It is really great! And I am proud of you. I know it's probably hard, to ya know... Stay sober, but it's a good thing. Not a bad thing, at all." She let go of him and leaned up when he asked what was on her mind. She sat indian style before biting her lip. She hadn't really told anyone how she had been feeling, so telling Dallas was going to be a start. Especially since she never really told anyone except her family and therapist about her bulimia which is where all of this seem to had started with.

"I'm on the verge of a break down. I can't take it anymore, that fucking teacher Jame whatever the fuck his name is hates me. He's a little bitch and I know he's your favorite teacher or whatever but I hate him. He calls me 'godzilla' in the halls and around everyone. On his class whiteboard, he taped the fake nude picture of me on his board. The burn blog won't stop talking shit about me and how fucking fat I am and how i'm a whore. And for sucks sake you don't even want to see the fucking text messages I got from the anon. number." Thalia rolled out of bed tossing a couple of boxes of Xanax on the floor which was on top of her phone.

She grabbed her phone out under one last box of xanax, before walking back over to Dallas. She scrolled through the screen until she found the messages , she glanced at them one more time feeling her eyes getting water and she just handed the phone to Dallas. "Ya know, i've always been really insecure and the fact that I'm still in recovery from my eating disorder really didn't make this any better because I spent all last night throwing the fuck up and making myself pass out from overdosing on Xanax because I will never been good enough for anyone. " She sat down on the bed looking down at her hands as she had a couple tears fall from her eyes. "I wish I wasn't alive, " she whispered.

[Dallas Kennedy]

Sober. What a nasty, filthy, useless word. If he was a bird, sober would be the first thing he'd shit on every morning. It literally made his body ache because of the codependency that he had formed with his booze. But, like Thalia said, it was making him a better person, right? Yeah, sure. He gave her a half smiled and dropped his eyes into his lap when she gently shook his shoulder and told him it really was a good thing. He didn't ever seem to take a liking much to good things..

"What?" He asked, flicking his eyes up when she said she was on the verge of a breakdown. That's when the posts of the burn blog and the posts and all the shit that was written on her locker. Deep down, he wanted to tell her about the note and the little words he'd replaced all of the bad stuff with, but it would be more of a sweet surprise if she saw it on her own. "Those fuckers have gotten outta hand, Thal." He said, almost harshly. Not meaning it at her, but to the writers behind all the bullshit. He fumed as she got up to retrieve her phone.

"What texts?" He asked, just as she handed him the phone. He listened to what she was saying before he looked down at her phone and read through them all. he knew every single one was a bitter stupid lie and she should know better than cave in and believe it. But then again... he had done the same thing. They even went so far to post an actual nude of him which was waaay too far. Just then, he read the message that mentioned that he wouldn't ever be with someone who was fat.

He felt a new anger building up in him and a whole new level of protectiveness for Thalia. He tossed her phone next to them on the bed and had a sad look on his face. "Oh, hun," He said, wrapping her up in his arms. Dallas let her cry it out as he put his hand on her back and just sat there. This wasn't anything to be selfish about, and he wasn't going to offer advice that he couldn't even follow himself. After a few minutes, Dallas kissed her temple and whispered into the skin on her neck, "I'm not going anywhere, Thalia. I'll always be there for you, always."

[Thalia Manson]

Thalia wrapped her arms around Dallas as soon as he pulled her in laying her head on his chest. She was completely soaking his shirt but she didn't care. It was even that quiet cry. It was so bad she was shaking and it was just ugly. And she was pretty sure she was making him shake. She got the goose bumps when his touched her temple and he whispered into the skin of her neck. "I want to die." She cried out in between sobs before she grabbed onto his shoulders tighter. "I-I don't want to be alive, "she whispered into his shirt before wiping her eyes slightly and her cheeks.

She pulled away a little keeping her arms around his neck but making herself be able to look at him. She wiped her eyes and just sat there for a minute before looking away from him just enjoying being in his arms for the time being. Her chest was moving up and down quickly as she was trying to catch her breath and calm down. Once she did so, she was still shaking and her eyes were bright red. Her voice was shaky but she began to talk. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to break down like that in front of you..." She looked down before laying her head back on his chest. She couldn't really figure out what other to say other than that.

She didn't want to be left alone , that was one thing she knew for sure. "Will you stay? Tonight?" She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. She didn't know why but Dallas was the only person she wanted to be with right now. The only person she could be herself around. "Please don't leave." She wiped her eyes again as they were still tearing up. "Am I gaining weight? Honestly? Do I look chubby?" She looked down at her stomach as she stayed curled up wrapped around him. She needed the truth and he would hope Dallas would tell he if she wouldn't except it from anyone else.

She didn't know why she let the burn blog get to her so much it just kid of happened after everything she had been through. "When I was fifteen and you were sixteen and my dad told everyone we knew I was sent to an all girls board school and I didn't have contact to anyone but him... I was really staying at a recovery center for people with eating disorders that whole year." She knew Dallas didn't really know that. But she had to tell him in order for him to really understand why it was effecting her so much to have broken down and hurt her so badly. After trying so hard to no starve herself or make her throw up for so long and then to start doing it again as soon as she got to this school... It changed her a lot and it had been getting her so upset lately. And now that she's breaking down and on the verge on thinking about wanting to die... She needed someone there for her.

[Dallas Kennedy]

His expression because very firm as his brows furrowed and he focused in on everything she was telling him. "No, Thalia." He said, feeling a deep and sharp pain in his chest. "No you don't." He suddenly felt like the worst person on the face of the planet because even after knowing nearly everything about her, he didn't even know that. That could have very well been one of the most important details about her life and he had been so unaware until now. Dallas pulled back from her just a little and made her look at him.

"I don't ever want to hear you say those words again. Ever, you hear?" He questioned in a firm tone. Even though he knew where she was mentally because he had been stuck in that same rut for nearly two months now, he hated hearing her say that she didn't want to be here anymore. It hurt. It made him angry. He felt betrayed and he wondered if that's what Esme felt with him all the time. He felt if this was how other people felt when someone they loved felt like life wasn't worth it. He suddenly felt how many people he had hurt because of the things he'd seen; his mom, his friends, anyone that tried to help.

"And don't be sorry." He said, wrapping her up once more. "Don't you ever be sorry." The embrace he had on her in that moment was the kind that you get when someone truly cares and mean every word they say. The kind that you know you need but you're too stubborn to admit it to even yourself. When he let her go, he took her hands in one of his and let his other rise up to her face where he wiped away a few stray tears. "I'll stay with you tonight, hun." Dallas started. "And tomorrow and the next day if you need me. That's what I'm here for." Dallas leaned over and kissed her forehead before offering her that smile that meant he really cared. "You are so beautiful. Fuck the haters," He said, offering Thalia a faint little laugh. "Just fuck 'em."

[Thalia Manson]

Thalia listened to what Dallas was saying when he made her look at him. She nodded as her bottom lip started to quiver. She knew Dallas had a point. She didn't want to die, it was just from how upset she was getting because of the constant bully from the burn blog and the teacher. When Dallas grabbed her once more she wrapped her arms back around his neck tightly burying her face into his neck. Being held like Dallas was holding her made it feel like everything she had been feeling was slowly going away. It was like Dallas always knew the right things to do to make her feel better.

When Dallas pulled away she smiled down at her hands which were now in his, then looked back at his when he hands were on her cheeks wiping away her tears. As he kissed her foorehead and called her beautiful, she couldn't help but let out a small laugh at his "just fuck 'em" joke. She moved her hands from his and hugged him once more. "Thank you. " She smiled kissing his cheek. "You're the best, you know that right? I love you." She smiled at him once more.

She knew saying 'I love you' to him right now, it was just a normal thing they said. It wasn't like it was the I'm in love with you 'I love you'. And she knew Dallas knew that. When she pulled away completely from hugging him she slid off his lap which she had been sitting in for a while and grabbed his hands in hers once more. "Can we order pizza and watch the notebook and play board games and have fun? "She looked at him wiht puppy dog eyes in hope they could just have a fun night and get her mind off of stuff.

[Dallas Kennedy]

When she pulled him in for one last hug and thanked him, he nodded his head up and down slightly but didn't say anything until she brought up movie night. "What time is it, four?" He asked, pulling out his phone from his front pocket. It said 4:37. "Let's go rent some movies, other than the Notebook, you know I'm just going to talk through the whole thing.." Dallas said with a light laugh. He knew how much she would fight with him over the choice of whether to watch the Notebook or not. He didn't know how many time she made him watch it with her and their normal agreement was if they got to watch it, they also got to watch one of his choice even if most of the time he would give her options.

"Or be can stay with our normal plan. We each get to pick something out." He said, doubling over so that he could put his boots back on. "It's cold outside, Thal. There's still like four feet of snow on the ground." He said, slipping on one boot, then the other and lacing them back up. He wondered why he hadn't brought a coat when he left for school that morning and kind of kicked himself for not remembering to. "Do you have any of Max's jackets in here?" He asked before remembering the coat in his car. "Oh, wait, nevermind, I'm stupid. I have one in the car." He said, leaning back on the bed.

He wanted to wait for her go ahead because he didn't know if she was wanting to get ready or not. He hoped that she didn't give a shit what anyone thought because even with red eyes and cheeks, she was still beautiful. And besides, she would be with him and if anyone said a word about her, her wouldn't mind punching them in the face and saying they 'slipped' on the ice. The thought made him laugh because the first person he thought of was Cooper and how Dallas would just absolutely love to throw down with that kid. There were a lot of nasty , two-faces bitches at this school, but he was nearing the top of the list. "Holy shit, Thalia. you haven't seen my car have you?" He asked, excitement flooding his voice.