Oakley's Office

[Oakley Barca]

minus the uh.. old dude....
also, there's a fridge and couch on the other side of the room.

[Deleted]

Dating Dylan had always been so natural for Isabel that she forgot that the chances of them working out long-term were slim to none. All of the work that they'd put into making their relationship work only for him to leave her all alone in the end right before Christmas. Her father was going on a cruise this year with his girlfriend since she was supposed to be spending this holiday season with Dylan, Declan and their father only... Only he broke her heart before they got that far which brought her back to now where she was driving around town to get out of that damn apartment. Everything about that place screamed 'Dylan' and she just couldn't take the memories or seeing the spare bedroom empty now that his belongings were gone. She'd only gotten the two bedroom so she could make a nice little studio for him.. Not her best choice in the world but at least she could say that she put everything into that relationship.

She'd stuck it out through almost affairs and his inability to tell her that he loved her even though she said it often. Loud and proud. She would have shouted it from the rooftop if it would make him stay. Her love for him likely wasn't healthy nor was their relationship now that she thought about it from another perspective. It wasn't like they argued but they honestly used each other for sexual gratification even if was lovingly towards the end. She'd changed every single aspect of herself for a boy who had literally changed his mind and took their dog with him leaving /her/ to pick up all of the shattered pieces of her heart.

She didn't even know how that she'd ended up at the school during her little adventure but she just decided to go with it.. Maybe she'd find a boy to distract her sorrows for the time being. She just wasn't ready to go back to that damn empty apartment and see all of their special places like the first place that they kissed when he was helping her move in or the spot where Rover's bed had been. Was it wrong that she sort of missed the dog more than anything? He was her little fur baby to make up for the fact that she'd ended up not having her real baby all those years ago... Speaking of real baby, where was her almost baby daddy?

It took her an alarmingly long time to realize that she could always just look for him in his office and not just around the hallways like an idiot. "Oak... Mr. Barca, are you busy? I... wanted... I wanted to know what your plans for Christmas are? Um... just taking a poll for the newspaper." What had she just said that she was doing? She couldn't have at least come up with a somewhat realistic lie? Eh, it wasn't like she didn't already look and sound as pathetic as a video game nerd would if his XBOX broke right before he finished the game. If she wasn't so depressed about being single then she wouldn't even consider speaking so calmly to Oakley. Hell, she spent most of her time glaring at him like somehow that would cause him to not exist anymore.

"I um... It's a project for a class on how teachers spend their time outside of school and I just felt like asking you because you're a teacher." Could he tell that her voice was cracking? Or that she kind of just wanted to hug him and sob while he ran his fingers through her hair? She was so desperate to be comforted that she almost reached to hug him but the fear of rejection definitely trumped her desire.

[Oakley Barca]

It wasn't so late, but it was late enough to make it weird for a student to be walking into a teacher's office. Oakley had been here almost all day for no reason, really, other than the fact that this office had a couch comfier than the one at his apartment. Regardless, he wasn't even sitting on it when Isabel had walked in. He'd been behind his desk for the past couple hours just on his laptop doing nothing even the least bit productive. He didn't even look professional. Hell, he was in a pair of baggy gray sweats (over the top of which his boxers were peeking) and a white v-neck. This wasn't something he'd usually wear out of the house. Or really out of his bedroom. Let's just be honest here and say these were his PJ's. It was lucky he'd put on real sneakers and not just come here in socks.

"Oh.. hey Isabel.." he said a bit questioningly, not quite sure why she was here. Not once had she ever come to his office. Well, she had a couple times but only because she had to turn in something she'd missed because of skipping his class. Isabel and Oakley had a pretty dark history... and as much as he was ready to repair it, she had never seemed to be. In fact, it wasn't a matter of guessing whether she 'seemed to be'. She just flat out hated him and it was clear. Or so he'd thought up until now. "Christmas plans?" he repeated, still a very questioning tone to his voice. "I uh.. I dunno. I'll probably just.. stay in?"

Oakley honestly would've left it at that if he wasn't so suspicious. This was odd. No, not even odd. This was completely strange and out of the ordinary. Why on earth was Isabel here? Even if she was doing something for the newspaper, she definitely wouldn't have come to him. She usually avoided him like he was the plague. And as much as he would've liked to just ignore this whole thing, his heart got the best of him.

"Something the matter?" he asked, swiveling his chair from his laptop to face to her as he put his arms on his desk and let a hand out to point at the chair on the other side. "Its uh.. its pretty clear you don't really like me and I mean, I can't blame you but.. you seem kinda.. out of it."

[Deleted]

"Dylan left." Two simple words to explain all of the pain and heartbreak that Isabel was currently going through.. He wasn't worth all of this pain if he could just up and leave her but she really couldn't see that right now. "You don't know him like I do so you probably won't understand why I feel like my whole world is falling apart right now and there's nothing that I can do about it. We didn't even fight... He was... he was just gone and he took all of his stuff and the dog." Explaining the whole thing didn't make her feel any better at all, actually, she just felt worse for dumping all over Oakley like that. He didn't deserve this even if he had been the source of great pain for her in the past which was why she hadn't sat down when he pointed out the other chair.

"I just can't wrap my head around how he could do this to me after everything that we've been through together and he finally said that he loved me right after the shooting so I really believed that things were going really well." Had she missed some big fat neon sign these past few days that he wasn't happy? He'd been acting just like normal - snuggling her, giving her the intimacy that she requested and watching those cheesy as hell bride shows on TLC. Was that what caused this whole thing? Had she simply pushed too hard for something that he wasn't ready for so he rebelled and left? Or was this something that he'd always intended on doing? She wanted to believe that he was just a cruel human being who wanted to hurt her but she knew him better than that. This whole thing had to have been her fault. She'd obviously somehow pushed him into leaving.

The problem with breaking up so suddenly was that it left her with no closure of the situation and no idea what she was supposed to change about herself to prevent this from happening in the future. She glanced up a little helplessly at Oakley and just sighed. Why'd she come to him anyway? He wasn't exactly a safe place to land emotionally. He was also someone who had left her heart broken but at least he was back trying to mend the wounds, right? If he wanted to make up for what happened so damn bad then the least that he could do was listen to her rant about how her ex-boyfriend had hurt her. "Sorry for that.. I just don't know where else to go and the apartment feels so empty that I can't even sit on the couch without thinking about him and all of the mistakes that I made in our relationship."

It seemed like all that she did was mess everything up lately. She'd ruined her relationship with Dylan, threatened to kill a fifteen year old girl for almost outing her ex-best friend and she'd made several comments wishing that Maxwell Manson would just kill himself and do everyone a favor. She'd hadn't meant to do any of those things if it meant anything but her emotions just got the best of her. Hell, she'd done the same thing to Oakley. He'd came back here looking for forgiveness and she just skipped his class, glared at him and occasionally made harsh comments about how unprofessional that he was to her friends. Nothing about her was a 'nice' person and she couldn't blame people for hating her.

She'd kind of hate her too.

[Oakley Barca]

Oakley didn't really know what to say. His mouth sort of dropped when she started talking about 'Dylan' and he felt bad for a moment not remembering who 'Dylan' was. It took a second, but the vague image of her (now ex?) boyfriend appeared in his head. Ah yes, that cocky little douche. He remembered. And suddenly felt bad for Isabel. She was quite the mess standing here before him and when she said she couldn't go back to her apartment, Oakley's first thought was to stand and guide her to the couch.

"If you can't sit on that couch, at least sit here on mine," he said softly, putting his hands out as if to take her by the arm.. but he wasn't really sure he should touch her. So he just sort of floated there beside her until she started moving. "You want some coffee or something?" he offered, looking over at his little pot and few cups of creamer. Oakley wasn't at all sure this was the right thing to be doing. With a history like theirs, should she even be in his office? Sure, he wasn't going to do anything. But the rumors this kid could begin... he knew all to well that she had a bit of a mouth. That worried him. But what was he supposed to do, push her out into the cold like some homeless person? No. He couldn't. He cared far too much about her. And even if he hadn't cared, that still wasn't the right thing to do.

Coffee and a place to sit was.

[Deleted]

Isabel would by lying if she tried to say that she wasn't shocked by Oakley's kind reaction to her thus far. How could she be so cruel to him? She'd made him out to be this terrible person inside of her head that she forgot who he was before that. She'd cared deeply for him at one point.. damn near loved him until things went south. It wasn't like the whole situation had been his fault, right? They'd both made plenty of mistakes. Was it too late to discuss their past? Or too soon to apologize for her behavior over the past few weeks. She knew that the moment was going to have to happen eventually so she decided to just get this over with. "I'm sorry."

Really? Could she seriously not explain what she was sorry for? "I'm sorry for getting an abortion and I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you since you've been teaching here... I didn't mean any of those awful things that I said." She couldn't even begin to explain how uncomfortable that she felt sitting on his couch in his office with him offering her coffee.. He was probably just doing this to be a good guy which was fine. She didn't care if absolutely none of this was even a little bit genuine as long as he kept his act up. "I don't want coffee... I just want... I guess that I just want to talk, you know? Or at least to know that someone is there." What was she even saying anymore? If he was feeling awkward then she figured that she might as well go all out even if that meant doing a lot of talking in a very short amount of time.

"I chose the wrong guy.. I had all of these feelings when you first came back and I guess that I just wanted them to go away and I assumed that Dylan was my soulmate because that was how it was supposed to be but this whole break up situation just reminds me that I should have acted on my feelings. I should have told you when you first came back that I missed and instead I stayed with a guy who I'm pretty sure never really loved me." She couldn't even stop herself from questioning if her ex-boyfriend had lied to her about his feelings considering the cruel way that he'd broken up with her. What kind of a person does something so suddenly and doesn't even have the decency to let the dumpee keep their damn dog? He knew how much that she loved Rover.

[Oakley Barca]

Oakley's eyes widened when she mentioned the abortion. He hadn't really been thinking all too much about that, only about them. But I guess, I guess the baby would've also been a part of 'them'. He looked down at the thought of that and twitched a bit, not really at all sure what to say. What do you even say to that? "I uh.. you weren't really a bitch," he said, trying to avoid the whole first part of her apology. Trying to avoid how awkward this was turning out to be.

He'd turned by now and had his hands on his desk, then slowly lifted one to the coffee pot. She'd said she didn't want any and neither did he, but he was instinctively brewing a cup anyway. Picking up a mug, he let his eyelids fall as he listened to her talk. She.. had had feelings for him? He turned his head at the sound of that and his mouth opened ever so slightly. "What do you mean you chose the wrong guy?" he asked softly, keeping his head in its turned position but dropping his eyes to look at the floor. "Who.. is there a right guy then?"

Subtle.

[Deleted]

"Sometimes I think that you're the right guy for me because I still have all these feelings for you after all these years and all of our history." Isabel knew logically that expressing these kind of feelings for him was only going to land her right back where she was now but taking this risk just felt right. "I think that I'm still in love with you but I really do understand that it's been a really long time and you're probably moved on by now with a partner or something. I wouldn't want to pressure you into saying that you have any feelings left for me at all just because I'm all sad right now. I just feel like if I don't tell you right now how I feel then I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life and I already have enough to regret so I don't really want to add that to the list." The last thing that she wanted was a declaration of affection out of pure pity.

She sort of wanted to look at him just to see if he had a murderous look in his eyes but fear of rejection sent her gaze right down to her nails. What if he screamed about how inappropriate that this was? She knew that it was incredibly wrong for her to even be in here and that if the burn blog caught wind of this then it'd be hell for the both of them. He'd more than likely lose his job and she'd well.. maybe she could convince her father to pay the school off so she could continue on with her education although the teasing that she imagined would come from this ordeal might make homeschooling seem favorable after all. All of the various reactions to her little confessional were just spinning through her head like a very unlucky lottery - what if he told everyone at school that she tried to seduce him. He wasn't that kind of guy!

Or at least he hadn't seem like the type when they had their little thing and he certainly wasn't treating her badly right now.

[Oakley Barca]

That was what Oakley had wanted her to say.. but he hadn't expected it. At all. Since working here, since her being a freshman, Oakley had hoped and dreamed she might forgive him. It had taken him years to realize how much he appreciated and loved and needed her. He'd fucked up pretty hard with her and damn near ruined both of their lives. But he was more than ready to fix that. And he hoped she could be too. And now, well, was this her saying she was? He hoped, and when impulse struck, he acted on it

and kissed her.

Stepping forward, Oakley put both hands on either side of her face and pressed his lips into hers. He wasn't sure what she'd do, and expected a slap across the face more than anything. Maybe even a good kick in the crotch. Or maybe she'd like, ninja the shit out of him and tear him to pieces. He didn't know, but what he was expecting wasn't good and the minute he pulled back, he regretted what he'd just done.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, eyes wide as he backed up into his desk, knocking over the cup of coffee he'd made. "I didn't.. I'm sorry." After looked from the wall to her and back to the wall, Oakley dropped his face and stared down at his shoes before noticing the coffee now seeping into the side of his jeans. "Shit," he hissed under his breath and was quick to pick up the cup and reach for a roll of paper towels. Dabbing away at his jeans and the floor, Oakley began to shake. He was nervous, scared, embarrassed, everything. He was the literal representation of a 'mess' at this point.

[Deleted]

Wait had he just kissed her or was that all in her imagination? It really did take a couple of seconds for everything that had just happened to fully register inside of Isabel's head. Did this mean that he wanted to be with her or had her confession just filled him with urges that he couldn't control? Why did she have to question this so damn much? It was what she'd been wanting yet she just couldn't bring herself to believe that he could actually care for her like she wanted him to. "I... Hon-- Oakley, it's okay. I actually really liked the kiss." She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by introducing cute little pet names when they weren't even romantically involved. She wasn't looking to become the next overly attached girlfriend mostly because she needed to get the 'girlfriend' part first which she didn't even think was possible at this point. Could he ever commit to her? Was she worth risking his whole career and possibly his future? Her future would more than likely be virtually unaffected if word of this got out now that she thought about it but he.. Well he would at the very least go on some type of a sex offender registry making it impossible for him to get another teaching job.

But, if that happened then she could always just earn a little living for them. She was already working as a stripper on the weekends to pay her rent and other bills to make things a little easier on her dad.. and give her financial independence before it was necessary. She never knew what was up with her father these days. Sometimes he was incredibly generous and proudly exclaimed that he was so looking forward to the day that she went to Harvard or Hale and then the next minute was on and on about how ungrateful that she was. Where did he even get off calling her ungrateful when he was the one who'd been cheating on her dying mother? Whatever. She wasn't going to worry about that right now so she decided to just focus on her situation with Oakley. "Look, I know that this is wrong and I know that you would be risking everything if we were together but I just feel like... I want it. I want to try and be with you because you're the very first person that I've ever loved in my life. I thought that wouldn't mean anything in the long run but it does. It means something because we never got any closure."

Closure? What was she rambling on about closure for? She'd never craved it before and yet now she was using it as an excuse to get what she wanted. "If you lost your job then I swear that I will do whatever it takes to support us and I have a job and an apartment and.. I'm getting  a puppy! If we wanted this to work then it could work." Who was she to promise something like that? She didn't even know if he really cared about her.