Morgan's Dorm

[Morgan Sawyer]

[gavin]

Gavin was lucky there was a bakery in the city that made cupcake bouquets. He wanted to give her flowers and her favorite food, so he combined them. He knew she'd love it. Well...that wasn't saying much. She'd love anything he gave her and he knew it. He could give her a box of dollar tree trash bags and she'd still act like it was the best gift in the world.

He knocked on the door of her dorm and bounced on the balls of his feet until he answered it. He should have told her earlier. The only thing that had stopped him was the fear. He didn't want it to be true. He always did everything in his power to stay healthy...but you can't really exercise cancer away.
"Hi baby," he said when she opened the door for him. He leaned down to give her a kiss, and handed her the vase. "I hope you like it. There's vanilla and chocolate in there."

He sat down on her chair and kicked off his Nike high tops, pushing them under her table. Not only had school been exhausting with everyone running around in their ridiculous generations day costumes (he hadn't participated and opted for the sweatpants/hoodie combo, much to the annoyance of his sister) but the news had just started to hit him this morning. He and his parents found out on Sunday, and he'd been in shock all week. Morgan probably caught on to him being so distant, but she hadn't said anything and he really appreciated it. He didn't want to explain yet.

"Come here," he patted his lap so she could see he wanted her to sit down. He just felt the need to be close to her when he told her this. It was big news, and not the good kind. Gavin tried so hard to look like he hadn't just been crying and that he wasn't unbelievably tired, but he was never a good actor.
"Baby...we need to talk," what her reaction to those words would be he didn't know. It was just the only way he could think to get this started.

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[Morgan Sawyer]

Morgan's heart skipped a beat when she opened to door to see Gavin, then glanced down to the vase he was holding -- not giving it a second thought at first when she took it into her hands, but, after taking a longer look, her eyes lit up at the sight of them being cupcakes, grinning up to him when he pointed out the flavors, "Aww, baby, I love it, thank you so much!"

She hadn't really been doing all too much before he'd shown up, her tv on and she was wearing bunny pajama bottoms along with a t-shirt, as she'd taken a nap as soon as classes were over and had woken up just a half hour earlier. Placing the vase onto her small coffee table and then licking off a bit of frosting that had gotten onto her finger, she reached over and turned off her tv before walking over to Gavin and sitting on his lap, wrapping her arms around him.

He didn't look too happy, especially lately, though Morgan wasn't the type to point those types of things out. She wasn't one to bother others by being too nosy and asking all these questions, digging deep into problems that weren't hers to fix, rather, she did the best she could to make them smile, at least a little, to brighten their mood a bit. But, when Gavin said 'we need to talk,' Morgan's heart nearly stopped.

She scrunched her eyebrows, "Alright," she nodded, hesitantly, "What is it, Gavvy?"

[gavin]

Gavin sighed and took her hand, pressing it against the left side of his neck. "Feel that?" He asked her, knowing it was impossible not to feel the lump there.
"A few weeks ago, Gin felt it and told my parents and we went to the doctor...long story short...they did a biopsy and blood work and..." she looked away from her and dropped his hand from her wrist.
"They said that they think they caught it just in time, before..." he shrugged. Despite himself, a tear fell from his eye. He quickly swatted it away, but he knew Morgan saw it. She'd seen him cry multiple times, so it probably wasn't very surprising, but this was different. He was sick again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I just didn't want it to be true, you know? I just...I really need you now more than ever, Morgs. I don't know where to go from here..." he buried his face in her neck and stayed there, trying to calm down but he just couldn't stop crying. It was like finding out all over again.
He pulled away after a moment and looked up at her, "I know I'll probably be okay, but...chemo is so...it's awful. And I don't think I could handle seeing my hair fall out, so I'm probably just going to shave it." He swore years ago after he recovered that he'd never cut his hair, but it would be more painful to watch it slowly fall out.
He tried to smile, "Think skin head is going to be a good look for me?" It was a weak attempt at humor because this was anything but funny. He just wished there was a way to go through this with Morgan's support without upsetting her. He knew the first time she saw him sick was going to be difficult for her, but he needed her. She was the one good thing in his life.

[Morgan Sawyer]

Morgan's eyes watered when she felt the lump in Gavin's neck, and her heart dropped to her stomach, as she saw what was coming, she knew what this meant. The further he explained, and the more broken he looked, the harder it got for Morgan to keep the tears from running down her face. Seeing Gavin in this state only devastated her. He was her rock, the person that was always there when she needed someone, the one person she never wanted to see sad, and the one person she always tried to keep happy, because he deserved it.

Holding tightly onto him as he cried, Morgan tried to hold back on her tears, wiping them away as they rolled down her cheeks, knowing very well that this was most definitely scarier for Gavin than it was for her. The chances of survival were good, but even then, you never know if you're apart of the smaller percentage of people! And the thought of that caused a knot to form in her stomach, and Morgan pursed her lips before leaning in and pulling Gavin into a deep kiss, breathing in deeply, like it would be the last, just trying to process everything as it all sunk in.

Looking into his eyes, Morgan tried to smile for him, and tried to force out a chuckle when he made a joke, but she wasn't sure how convincing it had come off as, "I'm going to be here every step of the way until it's gone, okay?" she nodded, insistently, "I'm going to do everything I can, I'll go to chemo with you, all your appointments," Morgan took a second to look at him, sighing, "I'm going to love you no matter what."

[gavin]

"Oh, Morgs," Gavin breathed out and leaned into her. "Baby...I don't think you really want to see my like that. Chemo takes so much out of you, I'm going to be so sick, are you sure...?" He let the question linger there. He would love for her to go to his sessions with him. It would mean everything for her to never leave him like she swore, but he didn't want to put her through that. Even if it would make him happy.

"I love you so much, more than I've ever loved anything in this world. More than I love spaghetti and lasagna and all the food of Italy combined," he smiled and kissed her softly. "I'm going to marry you, Morgan Dina Sawyer. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, okay? We're going to have lots of babies and buy a big house and open a bakery/Italian restaurant and make lots of money and grow really, really old together."

He ran his hand across her cheek to wipe some of her tears away and cupped her jaw, "And even if...if this..." he had to stop to clear his throat as his voice cracked. He didn't want to say it out loud. There was only a 7% chance that he would die, but it was still there and very real. And it was something they had to realize to keep from having too much hope, when bad things always seem to happen.
"Even if that doesn't happen, and we...we don't have forever...You're still the love of my life," at that moment...Gavin didn't think there had ever been a truer statement spoken. No matter what happened, he was still going to love her with every fiber of his being.

[Morgan Sawyer]

"Nobody said it was going to be easy," Morgan tried a smile, chewing on her bottom lip, "I would do anything for you," she sniffled, leaning her forehead against his. Gavin was there for her at her worst, which wasn't something many people ever got to see, being that she always seemed so happy on the outside. She just wanted to do the same for him, even if this current situation wasn't something you dealt with everyday.

When Gavin spoke of them spending the rest of their lives together, Morgan's heart lit up, and she let the tears fall, a funny feeling stirring up inside her stomach. Even after all this time, he still knew how to give her butterflies and make her smile, despite all that was going on. She didn't want to think about that 7% chance, she just wanted to believe he would be okay, that what he was speaking of was going to happen, that they would get married one day, have a family, and be together forever... because a life without Gavin, wasn't a life Morgan thought she'd be able to cope with.

"I will never love anyone the way I love you," Morgan swallowed back a sob, "and, that... that is going to happen," she tried blinking away some of the tears, "I won't let it go any other way because I love you, and," she let out a breath, "I never, ever, ever want to lose you," she crawled her hand over to his and clutched onto it, tightly, "you're my everything. You are the most incredible person I have ever known," Morgan looked down to their hands, pursing her lips, "and we'll get through this. Together."

[gavin]

Gavin didn't have anything else to say, because he knew if he did he'd just love it again. So he pushed his lips against hers and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster. He wanted her to physically feel how in love with her he really was.
When he parted from her, he kept his face mere inches from hers, and he was breathing heavily. "If I were an idiot I'd marry you right. You're the best thing that's ever been mine, and I...I'd be so stupid to--" He had to stop talking because his chin wrinkled and he felt himself crying again. It wasn't even sad tears. He was just...he was feeling so many different emotions that they were all mushing together in one very confusing ball.

"We'll get through this," he repeated her, but it sounded weak. "We will get through this," he said again with more force.
"That's...it's nothing. Like...one in a million, right?" It wasn't exactly one in a million, but it was still an off chance. He was going to be fine. You don't die at nearly seventeen. No. No way. Not going to happen. He was going to grow old with this girl, right here.