Jonsme <3

[Esme Russel]

Esme didn't think that she really needed to go to the doctor until she started feeling like she was about to pass out or, worse, die. She hadn't been feeling that bad the day before though her temp had been 104 when she'd gotten up to go to work and it had gone up to 105 right before she left so she wasn't even sure how high that it was right now. She didn't think that Jonathan would really force her to go the hospital when she claimed that she was totally fine. She didn't feel that bad! Okay so she totally did and it really sucked that she couldn't even keep water down but she could manage just fine and stay at work. She didn't need to stop everything in her life just because she was sick even if she kind of felt like dying because then she wouldn't feel anything and that'd be easier.

She loved her family and her life but she just felt really terrible. She was horribly dehydrated when she got to the hospital so much so that they had trouble putting her iv in but they eventually got it all set and put her in a hospital room. She was honestly angry that they admitted her right away; how dare they! Didn't they realize that she had a busy life? There were dishes in the sink, clothes that needed to be washed in the hamper and dinner to be cooked! She wasn't thinking logically that all of these things could be done at a later time and how Cici was absolutely fine spending some time with her uncle Cooper. What was the worst that could really happen? Jon loved her before she was working and he'd continue loving her if she lost her job.

She stopped hating the doctors and the nurses when she found out that she had the flu which can be extremely dangerous during pregnancy. She couldn't be so selfish that she would risk her unborn baby simply because she didn't want to go to the doctor. How had this even happened? She wasn't the type of person who got sick during her non-pregnant days so how could she have managed this? "We're going to want to keep you over night, Mrs. Russel and we'll discuss the possibility of releasing you tomorrow evening." She let out a heavy clearly annoyed sigh but she knew that it was for the best that she stay until she was at least a little better; her fever was still 104!

She looked to the handsome man next to her and offered a weak smile after the doctor left the room. What was she suppose to say? I'm sorry I'm endangering our baby? I'm overwhelmed? How would that sound? He worked so hard! "Jon, I love you." It was genuine what they had and nobody looking at them could deny it. "But we need to talk, okay?" It was selfish but she didn't want to give up honor roll and college for a dead end job at Walmart that was sending her into a deep depression.

[Jonathan Russel]

Jon was honestly worried that Esme was working too hard, overworking herself. She was pregnant with their next child! He didn't want her to over-do it and stress herself out, which he was sure was the reason why she was in the hospital right now. She was always trying so hard to take care of him, of Cici, everybody in her life, despite Jon's insistence that she needed to slow it down. He really could handle working and taking care of Cici, even with the house work that Esme never let him do.

When Jon got that call from Dallas, he automatically knew it was about Esme. Something was wrong with her and she really needed help; he looked at her now, lying in that hospital bed, and he clutched tightly onto her hand and sighed, laying his forehead to the back of her hand, "I love you, too, baby..." he inhaled, then lifted his head up to look at her, "I hate that I didn't even notice you were sick," he mentally cursed himself for not recognizing the symptoms. She had been feeling pretty hot the night before, but Jon kind of assumed it was normal because of her pregnancy.

"What's wrong, baby?"

[Esme Russel]

"Okay.. I know that you work really hard to support us and everything but I'm feeling overwhelmed and I know it's all in my head because I'm the one doing it. I'm the one who thinks that you can't wash a load of dishes or take care of Cici when you get off of work but I mean... You're a grown man and I don't give you enough credit." Esme had so many issues from her parents and their divorce and her father's cheating that she felt like she had to be the perfect wife to make him stay. She realized logically that he was not her father and that he was nothing like him but there was also this twisted fear in the back of her head that everything could come crumbling down in a second especially with what was already shaping up to be a difficult pregnancy. The bottom line of the current situation was that physically, she couldn't work anymore and she wasn't going to be good enough to work until she gave birth.

"I feel horrible, Jon. I am this awful back and forth between so horny that I want to rip your clothing off and just wanting to lay around all day and not move because even the thought of getting out of bed is exhausting but I do it. I get out of bed and I take care of Cici every two hours when she wakes up because I know you work hard and believe it or not, I love losing sleep for that tiny human." She smiled weakly to herself as she thought of that tiny lovable little girl that they had together. "I love every second of being a mother and it makes me so happy to be home with her and I never felt like this when I was staying at home with her all day. I felt complete like I was finally doing something right and ... I hate working." She hadn't really admitted that to anyone yet but it was the honest truth. She couldn't stand being away from her daughter for that long and she couldn't stand the customers that came in.

Dallas had saved her ass by agreeing to loan her that money but it wasn't fair to expect him to always save her from failing financially. She was making a bad choice by asking this of Jonathan but she knew that it was the only way that she could have a healthy pregnancy and subsequently healthy baby. "I wanna quit my job and go back to being a stay at home mother but I'm so scared that you're going to resent me for not working."

[Jonathan Russel]

Jon only nodded, concerned, pursing his lips as he listened closely to what Esme was saying, slightly relieved that she'd already realized she was incapable of working right now. He'd been meaning to build up the courage to tell her to slow it down, but she was so insistent of doing all this work and she seemed so happy to do it, and he understood -- because Jon loved providing for his family, he didn't want her to feel like she wasn't doing her part, even though she was doing her best at it.

His eyes shifted up to look at her when she said she hated working, then raised his eyebrows when she said she was afraid of him resenting her for not working. "Baby, I would never," he squeezed her hand, shaking his head, "look, we're both working hard for our family," he smiled, "you're pregnant, and you've been overworking yourself, you deserve to be able to rest and take care of yourself, don't worry about me so much, I'll be fine," he gave out a sigh, "you are the best wife and mother in the world and I would never leave you or push you away just because you want to stay home with our kids,"

Jon leaned in to kiss Esme, not caring very much that she was sick with a fever and he could very well catch it, "Let me take care of you for now, alright?" he moved some of the hair out of her face with his thumb, "Everything will be fine," he bit his lip, "I'll love you regardless."

[Esme Russel]

Esme didn't really think that Jonathan was going to be unsupportive of her choice to quit working since it was for her health and the well-being of their unborn child. What kind of a father and husband would want their wife to risk herself and their baby for a part-time job at Walmart? Surely most men would realize that there were more important things than money and if not then she was suddenly glad that Jonathan wasn't like most men. She knew of pig husbands who would insist on sexual payment to make up for the favor that he was doing by not forcing her to work. She didn't really know how to repay him for this without using her body or something of the like.. and she had always had this twisted fantasy of having sex in a hospital bed though it didn't typically involve IV fluids, a pregnancy and a fever. She had body aches from the flu and she actually kind of felt like she wanted to throw up at any minute.

She didn't know what she was suppose to do but sex couldn't be that difficult, right? "Baby, come here.." She had gotten him to have sex with her when she had mono for crying out loud! She had basically a magical vagina that could turn anyone on at any moment despite what the rest of her body was doing.. And that's probably not something that she should be bragging about to anyone considering that it sounded awfully slutty to even think it in her head let alone actually tell someone and risk them reacting poorly and thinking that she was a giant whore which she, admittedly, had been in the past. "Come here and make love to me." She had an incredibly high fever.. A nurse or doctor could walk in at any second and yet she was suggesting sexy fun times... Yeah, there was definitely no flaw in this plan!

She was in a hospital gown so she couldn't exactly sexy it up at all and she was really just hoping that her facial beauty would be enough... Maybe she would look hot because she had a fever? Even if she had cold chills at the moment. "Don't you wanna touch my body?" She purred affectionately as she reached a hand over to stroke the side of his face. She looked God-awful but she didn't seem to realize that. She knew one thing - she felt anything but sexy.

[Jonathan Russel]

Jon chuckled slightly as he got onto the hospital bed with her, stroking the side of her face. She felt warm, and he could tell she still had a fever, "Baby, this seems awfully familiar," he smirked down at Esme, remember that day she came into his dorm to... well, have fun. Fun, of which, that had resulted in the conceivement of Cici, "you really should rest."

Sure, normally Jon wouldn't care too much about getting sick -- considering he usually battled through it pretty well, anyhow, but he was more concerned for Esme right now, "We don't need to do this right now if you're not feeling well," he smiled, "you're sick..." he opened his mouth, then pursed his lips, "I don't want you to force your body into doing something when you're feeling this way." They'd had sex a very healthy amount of times that week, anyway, hadn't they? Jon could surely go this once without. He was sure his penis wouldn't be sad later.

[Esme Russel]

Esme was usually almost offended when Jonathan rejected her sexual advances for whatever reason but now she was relieved that she wasn't going to have to force herself to enjoy sex that her body wasn't ready for. "Hey Jon....?" She trailed off a little and tried to think of the best possible way to ask him the worst possible question that she could ask him. How do you ask a person if they still love their ex-girlfriend when you still wear the ring that your ex-boyfriend gave you? She knew that he had every right to not answer this and she couldn't exactly hold it against him. "Do you love her?" It was painful to even hear the words coming out of her mouth because she knew that there was a chance that whatever he said was a lie. What would she rather have - a husband hung up on his ex openly or one who lies to spare her feelings?

"Cassidy, I mean, do you still love Cassidy? I know that what you two had was special and I know that she's special... I know... I know that it would be really easy to lie and say no if you do but please don't. I can handle you loving her.... I can handle you telling me right now that you love her still but I can't handle you lying and me looking like the idiot in six months when it all comes crashing down around me." She looked over at him with those wide brown eyes of her's and reached a hand up to stroke the side of his face. "I know you love me, Jonathan Jacob Russel... I know that because nobody's ever looked at like you're looking at me... And it makes me feel complete so don't think I'm asking because I don't trust you because I do. I trust you one hundred percent over everyone else."

[Jonathan Russel]

"Love who?" Jon was ultimately confused once Esme asked that question, then his expression just sort of went neutral once she further explained. Jon knew about Cassidy and Esme's little debacles over the internet, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the two didn't like each other. But, Jon, still love her?

"I loved her, I did," he answered cautiously, "but it wasn't the same love I feel for you," he looked down at Esme and locked eyes with her, "when I loved Cassidy... that wasn't real love. I felt like whole different person, and not in the way I was supposed to. I was living up to expectations to so many people in order to keep her and it still wasn't good enough..." Jon scowled slightly at the memories, that dark period in his life, "She even..." he sighed, "I mean, I'm sure she was cheating on me with someone better." He looked down, "I was never thought to be good enough by her or anyone else in her life and I couldn't take it, which is part of the reason why it was so easy for me to leave her."

Jon bit his lip, "I know that was wrong, and I don't blame you if you think I would do the same, but I need you to know that what we have here, and what I feel for you? All of that, that's real love," he brought a hand up and sort of just cupped her face for a second, "I wouldn't even think about leaving you. Never. I promise."

[Esme Russel]

Esme couldn't describe the relief that washed over her body when Jon told her that he wouldn't think of leaving her. She knew that it was silly to believe him without question but what kind of a life would it be if she was with someone that she loved but ultimately couldn't trust to keep his dick in his pants when he faced any sort of temptation? She and Jon had been through so much in the past that an average couple would have broken up - teenage pregnancy, affairs, breaking up once, marriage... It was a lot of stress for two high schoolers but they managed and they somehow still loved each other at the end of the day. She could love him for the fact that he was her best friend and treated her like a princess and sometimes in spite of the fact that he smoked weed and sometimes left his dishes in the sink just like he loved her for being the mother of his child and everything else he liked about her and in spite of the fact that she was totally and completely nuts.

The other couples at this school were cute, no doubt about that, but she and Jon were special. Unlike Carol and Wyatt, she trusted him completely around other women including Cassidy now and Jett and Danny would definitely be stiff competition once they came out as a couple publicly but they wouldn't have nearly the adorable-ness that she currently had in her relationship. There was absolutely nothing that they could do that would make them on the same level as Danny did not have a uterus and could not bring two adorable babies into the relationship. Yep, she went there and decided that a couple could not compete unless they had a child well.. Kegan and Thalia had a baby, too but ... She seemed like the type to nag and they weren't putting their relationship ahead from the sound of it on the online chat room.

She suddenly didn't feel like she really had to compete with Cassidy anymore for the love that she already had. It'd been there before, sure, but now she felt this new surge of confidence. She didn't need to attack and destroy a cripple! Because no matter what Cassidy did or said, she had the one thing that she could never have and that was the full and total love of Mister Russel. "I believe you. I know that people probably don't think that you and I are good for each other considering our histories but we both know better. I know that you didn't mean to hurt her and I know that you would never ever cheat on me. I just.. I get so insecure sometimes and I just don't know but it makes me feel so much better to hear that. I've been crying in the shower every night because of Cassidy and having these horrible nightmares where I walk into our bedroom and she's on top of you... naked." She hadn't told him this before but why not let it all out? "She hates me enough that I think she'd do it just to spite me."

[Jonathan Russel]

Jon only chuckled at Esme's misconception about his feelings towards Cassidy, "That would never happen, I wouldn't let it," he looked down and started to play with Esme's hand, "She could never steal me away. I doubt she would, after I accepted that money from her parents..." He pursed his lips, then looked back at Esme, "We're all a little messed up," he smiled slightly, "but I think we can agree that, together, you and me?" He enlaced his fingers with hers, "We're perfect. Two messed up people, making something beautiful." He glanced down to Esme's bump, which held the second bundle of love they'd be welcoming into the world in a few months.

It really was beautiful, what they had, it was like... they were the missing puzzle pieces the other needed to be complete. Before Esme, Jon was letting life pass by, he didn't take it seriously, and he was never actually happy. After trying so hard to impress everyone, live up to so many expectations, he had literally given up on himself. Then, Esme made him feel like he was doing something right, like he really mattered... she showed him that he could be loved and that he could love back, and that wasn't something you just let pass by. They may not have started out the right way, but the important thig was that they found each other, and Jon would never give that away.