Jonsme (Feels like the first time)

[Esme Russel]

Esme seriously felt as nervous to see Jonathan as she had before their first trip to the Boardwalk; she couldn't believe that it'd been already been so long! Nine months of pregnancy had flown by when she was with Jonathan... Hell, five minutes with Jonathan felt like it went by in seconds and she desperately wanted more time with him. She believed that you know that you're meant to be with someone when times just flies. You don't check your watch or wait impatiently for the other person to finish rambling on and you actually want them to ramble about their day. That's how she felt whenever she and Jonathan spoke.. She just wanted to know all about his day, his dreams.. anything to keep him from walking away from her. What if he didn't show up though? She had felt like giving him a blast from the past so she wore the same dress that she had been wearing then. It was just a simple white lace dress that still fit her body in the right places and luckily didn't show too much cleavage.

Their break-up had been relatively clean and neither of them hated each other so she saw no reason as to why she couldn't have him back especially now that some time had passed. Cici was growing up so fast, too! She didn't want to spend the rest of her daughter's life missing moments. Sure she and Jonathan didn't live together now but who was to say that if they got back together then they wouldn't move in? He was a senior and she had lived on her own before.. Wow, she was really thinking too far ahead here.

She just didn't want to think of anything but the positive idea of Jon and her admitting that they were still in love with each other even if she knew that he had every right to come and tell her that he didn't want to be with her again as he'd moved on. She had told him to meet her at the same bench that she'd been sitting on the first time and Cici was propped on her lap. Their young daughter was having a ball throwing popcorn at pigeons which Esme wasn't stopping. She and Jonathan had discussed throwing popcorn at people the first time that they'd done this so she felt like that would just make this cuter. Everything had to be absolutely perfect which meant giving too much thought to every single detail. Hell, she had the stuffed antelope that he had used to ask her out with in her purse.

[Jonathan Russel]

Jonathan wasn't particularly sure of the reasons behind his nervousness. He was never nervous around Esme, in fact, she was the one person in his life he felt he could feel the most comfortable around, someone he never had to fake it with, where things were just... natural. When she asked to meet him at the same place on the same bench where things started, he knew exactly where to go. Jon rarely strolled along the boardwalk these days, due to all the memories that came along with it -- they were happy memories, sure, but it never did feel right to pass by that bench, or the ferris wheel, without Esme there. Every time he did, he felt a tinge of guilt, and an emptiness in his stomach. That was their place, not just Jon's, not just Esme's, but both of their's.

Scratching the back of his head as he walked down the boardwalk, he spotted the bench, and there Esme was, in the same white dress she wore that very same day. He'd remember it anywhere. Suddenly, all that nervousness flushed over and a soft smile formed across his face. Biting his lip as he looked at her, he walked over, kneeling down in front of the girl as she sat down and presenting a single pink rose that he'd been hiding behind his back and offering it to her, "It wouldn't feel right if I didn't give you one of these," he half-chuckled, then smiled over to their little girl, kissing the top of the child's head before leaning up to kiss Esme's cheek.

He got up again, only to sit next to her, the same feeling emanating through him, as if sitting down there brought them back in time to that day. He laughed slightly as he watched Cici throw popcorn at the pigeons, "She's already caught on to the popcorn thing," he grinned.

[Esme Russel]

"She has! Doesn't she look so cute?" Esme cooed as she stole a piece of popcorn from the bag to munch on. She was trying to act casual about the fact that he had given her a rose but her face was blazing red. He remembered her favorite flower! "Thank you, Jonathan." She was looking down at the pink rose and just in clear shock about the fact that he had remembered something so important to her. She didn't want to just start telling him how she felt now! They had the whole day ahead of them and she didn't want to risk ruining that by saying that she was still in love with him.

"I think Cici is happy to see her daddy.... I'm happy that you came, too." She didn't want him to think that she wasn't excited that he was there with her. She reached her free hand over to place it on top of one of his and she could practically feel electricity shoot through her entire body. How had this happened? How did she become the girl who was hung up on Jonathan Russel? She had wanted very little to do with him when she got pregnant and now she wanted to be his one and only. Fate has a funny way of stepping in sometimes and making you see that the only person that you really need is the last person that you expect it to be.

She wanted to stay right there forever and just look into his beautiful eyes and then look down at the gorgeous little girl that they had created with their life.. Their love. She couldn't even wrap her head around the idea that this was really her life. If someone had told her this at the beginning of her high school years then she would have slapped them and said 'no way in hell' and now she couldn't imagine her life turning out differently. Cici and Jonathan were her light at the end of a long dark tunnel. "Um... I was thinking we could try and go on the ferris wheel? If she's allowed, of course."

[Jonathan Russel]

"I'm always happy to see my two favorite girls," Jon breathed as Esme placed her hand on his. Since the beginning, he always sort of just, let things happen with her. And it was almost out of nowhere. They were friends at first, and not even very close -- heck, the girl moaned the wrong name the first time they'd had sex, but Jon took the initiative to help out when she'd gotten pregnant. He never even denied that the baby was his, which was something he clearly could have done to get out of such a complicated situation, but he wasn't an asshole. Jon saw something, felt something different with this girl that he couldn't quite put a finger on, but he just liked the fact that he could need someone, just as much as they needed him. And that's exactly how things were. It wasn't him making an extra effort for someone who barely gave any back in return, it was selfless actions by the two of them that made it work. And it was because of that, that he wasn't just going to push her away when they broke up. Of course, they had a child, but regardless, Esme was someone Jon never wanted out of his life, which was why he was there, sitting with her at this moment, reliving the day all of these feelings stirred up inside of him.

Glancing over to the ferris wheel as Esme mentioned it, Jon smiled, "I'm sure they'll let her on with us," he clutched onto her hand, "she's got us to keep her safe," he shrugged, "and I wouldn't let either of you fall off."

[Esme Russel]

Esme stood up carefully with her darling daughter safely in her arms. She tossed the now near empty bag of popcorn in a trash can and set the rose safely in the diaper bag. She was going to need to look up on Google how to keep that rose forever. It was like the stuffed antelope! She could never imagine getting rid of any of the important memories that they shared even if they didn't end up spending the rest of their lives together. She wanted him in her life forever even if he wasn't her husband one day. "I hope that she doesn't get scared but if she does then she has her big strong daddy to make her see that everything is going to be okay."

She didn't let go off Jonathan's hand as she led him to the ferris wheel. She was honestly surprised that there wasn't a huge line! They were able to get on quickly and told to just make sure that Cici didn't fall but that it should be completely fine to have her up there. "This is really bringing me back to those days, Jonathan." She hoped that he remembered.. She hoped that he was as full of emotion and desire for her as she was for him. It was rare for people to have even one moment like this in their life and they got to experience it twice.

As a family.

She looked down to her daughter and realized that she hadn't been a mistake or an accident - she'd been the missing piece. She brought her and Jonathan together even then and now here she was doing once more. "Jonathan... I love you." It wasn't unusual for her to tell him that she loved him but there was more feeling in the way that she said it now and the expression on her face... She was looking at the man that she loved and she never got that look towards anyone else.

[Jonathan Russel]

"Me too, I.." Jon took a second to take in what Esme had said. He looked at her when she said she loved him -- it didn't sound the same as it did the last few times she'd said the words. It didn't sound the way it did when they were about to hang up on the phone, saying 'love you, bye', it sounded the way it had that morning Jon first said those words to her and she'd said it in return, and each time after that up until the day they broke up. Jon looked from her, to their child, trying to gather up his emotions as quickly as he could. This was a good thing, it was. He scrunched his eyebrows slightly, before nodding, his lips curving up to form a smile, "I love you, too, Esme."

Truth be told, it'd been hard to say it in such a way before, trying to hide the emotions held behind such strong words. He squeezed her hand, gently. They were a real family. And though they were young, you could see it in them. It was genuine, all the love that was spurred out amongst the three, you didn't need eyes to see it. It was just there. Jon looked at Esme for a second, hoping this would be alright, and he was sure it was, before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers after so long going without, pouring everything he felt straight into it.

[Esme Russel]

Esme wasn't expecting him to say it back like that... But suddenly she could feel it. Their relationship was unexpected and hard to explain but she knew that it was real and anyone who knew them would have to be an idiot not to see it, too. His kiss brought her right back to all of the other kisses that they'd shared and she could feel butterflies in her stomach and sparks throughout her body. She didn't want to pull away! It was such an intense kiss since they'd gone so long without this kind of physical contact between them. "I have never... I never thought that we were going to end up like this again but I just love you. I love you and our family.. I mean.. I know that we're young and that things change but I love you so much."

She looked down at their daughter and said something that could potentially scare him off. "I hate that I don't get to see the two of you every day and we lived together fine before so maybe.. Maybe we could get an apartment and we could be a real family. I have a job and I'm taking care of the two of us and you... I just love you and I really want this. I want to see you in the morning when I wake up and at night before I fall asleep and I know that Cici would love it if you could read her bedtime stories and sing her songs with me."

She just wanted him to be there. Always.