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Post by Danny Dubois on Jan 14, 2013 0:35:19 GMT -5
Danny practically jumped from the couch when the pizza arrived. Jett had gotten to the door first and paid, but Danny was still on his feet as Jett placed the boxes on the table. "Dude I eat everything," he said as he reached for a piece of the cheese. "Thanks for ordering this.. I don't have anything we coulda eaten," he said with a chuckle.
As the two ate, very few words were exchanged. But once they'd finish half the pizza, a strange and rather invasive thought passed over Danny's mind. "Hey man you gotta girl? You seem like the kinda dude that's got a girl," he said, elbowing Jett jokingly with a smile on his face. The question might've been awkward, but it was conversation and they needed some of that. Plus, Danny just really wanted to know. For reasons that made him uncomfortable.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2013 14:30:41 GMT -5
Jett was thoroughly enjoying the hot and delicious pizza. It was just what he was craving and it was going well with his coke. He ate kind of fast seeing that he was starving and what not. He could feel sauce on the side of his cheek and he wiped it off on the inside of his shirt collar.
About half way through the first pizza, Danny stopped and asked him if he was with anyone. His first thought was Raine Gregory. He had always felt a little something for her, but it wasn't strong enough to act upon or do anything with. "Eh, no. I think Raine digs me but she's like my best friend so fuck that." He thought about how most of his friends, apart from Danny and Dallas were girls. Esme, Raine, Kat, Thalia, Carol..
He hadn't ever seen Danny with anyone. At least Jett had been in previous relationships, but he hadn't ever seen Danny with someone. "What about you? Some kind of Virgin Mary or soemthing?" Jett asked as he followed with a smile to show he was joking.
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Post by Danny Dubois on Jan 14, 2013 20:58:26 GMT -5
Danny nodded along when Jett spoke. "Ah yea man I could see that," he said in response to his comment about Raine. He'd never met the girl.. but hey, he was just making conversation. When Jett turned the question around to him, Danny looked up with wide eyes. He giggled a bit at the virgin Mary remark and sneered. "Nah man I'm just savin' it for that lucky someone, yknow?" he said, punching Jett's shoulder. "There were a couple hopefuls in the past.. but they weren't worthy of it," he added with a broad smile as he reached for another slice of pizza and ate practically half of it in one bite.
(ooh i'm sorry that's so short)
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Post by Danny Dubois on Feb 4, 2013 18:57:30 GMT -5
A week. It had be a whole week. Seven days of constant texting, phone calls, everything. Danny had gone to his friends and asked where he was, asked them to have him call. But he never did. A whole fucking week without any contact. How long had he had this crush? How long had he been head over heels for this kid? Too long. And he knew now that it was all a waste. His love was strong and true, but after that kiss at homecoming, he realized that everything was just a big joke. It was all a lie. The few times he'd thought he'd seen something in Jett's eyes, the few times he'd thought just maybe it wasn't a game. They didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now. During the week, Danny may not have had any sort of contact with Jett.. but her certainly had a lot with tons of other people. People that he didn't even know. His facebook was practically exploding with hate and he was getting tweet after nasty tweet. How on earth did this many people know? Sure there was the group of maybe four football players that had stopped him but.. No. He didn't know why he questioned it. If word like that got out, it spread like the fucking plague. Especially when its dirt on a jock. Its like they live to make fun of the gay kid. One way or another, Danny had had enough. It had been years since Danny's suicide attempt. Years. But in just this past week.. those years seemed like nothing at all. He'd never wanted to disappear more than he had now. Life didn't mean anything anymore and frankly, he'd had enough. He knew how cliche that sounded, how stereotypical it was coming out of the 'good looking jock'. He'd seen those TV shows and he knew what it would've sounded like to anyone else. They'd say he was looking for attention. But that was really such a lie. He couldn't have wanted to be anymore alone. For the past three or so days, Danny hadn't left his dorm. He'd eaten very little, finishing off what bits of food were in his fridge. He just didn't feel like moving. Laying on his bed was about all he could manage. Not even video games appealed to him. So he laid, motionless, just staring at the ceiling with his phone on his stomach as he prayed for it to go off. But it never did. - - - - It was cold in his room. Danny had opened the windows about an hour ago. Not freezing, but it was cold and if anyone walked in, they'd probably think he was a crazy person for sitting shirtless. But there was no chance of that.. no one had come to check on him the past couple days, why would they come now? Sitting on his bed, Danny ran the leather belt through his fingers. He'd been crying, and it was clear by how puffy his eyes were and how red his cheeks were. But he'd stopped.. it was like he'd cried all the moisture out of his body. He couldn't cry anymore, he couldn't really feel anymore. He was numb. The only thing he felt was how shallow the beat of his heart was and how tight the leather belt could be around his hands. It took him a while, but he eventually staggered to his feet. The lack of food in his system sent his eyes into a blur as he put a hand out to balance himself. Slowly, he walked towards the closet and opened the big wooden door. It was a closet like all the other dorms.. they all kinda had the same thing spare for a few special exceptions. Across the top, about five inches off the ceiling, ran a steel rod. It was for hangers, but Danny had never used it. He'd never used this closet at all, actually. There were just a couple pairs of shoes in the bottom. All of his "hanging items" were never actually hung. With a sniff and blank eyes, Danny reached his foot into the closet and pulled a small step stool forward. One step, then another, and he was standing on top of it. He pulled one end of the belt through the buckle, then reached up and tied it around the rod. What a sight. He couldn't bare to look at it.. because he knew it would hurt. He closed his eyes for a minute as the tears were coming back. He could feel them welling in his eyes as he squinted hard and clenched his teeth. Slowly, Danny placed his head through the loop he'd made with the belt. He stood for a moment, quiet and thinking. Praying, really. Not to God, or anything like that. He was just.. just praying. For anything, anyone. He didn't want anyone to come find him. He hoped they wouldn't, really. He hoped that maybe somehow, no one would actually have to see him. Well, someone would have to find him. But he hoped that when they did, they wouldn't make a big deal. He hoped they'd understand. Which was asking a lot. Because he really didn't even understand. All he knew was that it was time to go. No one needed him. It was time to go. After running his fingers over the leather belt once more, Danny looked up at the knot he'd made around the rod. Should hold, he thought to himself before looking back down at the step stool. It was already wobbling under his feet. He started to rock, and felt it slip away. The pain came next. Pure, sharp pain as the belt practically cut through his skin. It didn't, but it sure felt like it. His neck hadn't snapped.. fuck. How on earth had he messed this one up? But his vision had started to go, and he could feel the numbness starting in his toes. Maybe in time, he'd pass out and nature would take it from there...
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2013 20:06:11 GMT -5
Jett hadn't really talked much to anyone since the night of homecoming. He didn't need to, the hate and slur radiating from all of the social media was more than enough for him. He had been borderline stalking Danny's twitter and Facebook to see if he had written anything about the dance or what happened at it yet he always found nothing. Nothing but the same hate that he was receiving from the lacrosse players.
He didn't understand what the fuck was up everyone's ass. Why couldn't they just leave their own noses in their own shit and call life good. He was scared enough that Danny was about ready to knock him out, but now look at what he had caused! Everyone bagging on the two boys because Jett was an idiot and had given in. Danny didn't deserve that, he hadn't done anything but offer himself to play victim in Jett's horrible idea to 'pretend' they were gay.
He had to talk to him. He couldn't be afraid of Danny or their peers. Jett cringed at the thought of being punched in the face. He wouldn't even hit back at this point! Jett hurried to Danny's dorm room and calmed his emotions down before deciding to faintly knock on the door. When there was no answer, he ventured inside on his own. The door was unlocked, but there didn't seem to be anyone home. Jett sighed and looked for a piece of paper so he might be able to leave Danny a note.
Just as he had found one and a pen, he heard a noise coming from the closet. He rounded the corner and saw the most horrific sight that he had ever possibly imagined. It took him a second for his feet to even think about working as he scurried to Danny. He was quick to take in what he had done and how he was going to get his body down. Jett stood on the step stool without fixing it, which left him standing wobbly on the cold plastic. He tugged repeatedly at the leather belt and on his last pull, he put his whole weight into it. The combination between Danny and his had worked because the pole had ripped right out of the wall.The two boys came crashing down to the floor, Jett falling atop Danny's body and the hard pole slapping on his back.
Jett stood up and drug Danny into the room. He stumbled and shook as he tried to get the belt off of his neck. "Fuck, Danny! Come on, come on." Jett pleaded into the empty room. His jaw and teeth were clamped down in a vice grip while he pleaded with anyone to help him. Whether it be from himself, someone in the hall or God himself, he cried for help. Jett was hysterically shaking Danny to try and get him to snap out of it. He could see the marks where the belt had been around Danny's neck.
"Danny, pleeeease, please. Snap out of it, please!" He grunted as hot, angry tears started to run down his cheeks.
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Post by Danny Dubois on Feb 4, 2013 20:33:38 GMT -5
Danny hadn't felt Jett pull him down. He hadn't felt anything at all until Jett was practically shaking his brains out. His eyes started to open slowly, and his vision was still incredibly blurred as he lifted a hand to Jett's arm. "Jett," he practically coughed it out. "Jett.." He didn't know what he was saying. I mean, he knew. He knew that this was Jett and he knew he was saying his name. But there was no meaning about it. It was abut as blank as someone pointing at a desk and saying 'desk'.
But then, everything started to come back. Danny remembered where he was, what was happening and felt a sudden flash of rage. Why was he alive?
Frantically, Danny's hands were at his throat feeling for the belt. I was gone! Where the hell was it? Why hadn't it worked? And Jett.. Jett was here. That meant.. oh shit. That meant he'd found him. Danny's cheeks flushed red as the embarrassment set in. He'd never meant for this. "Jett," he said once more, a bit more forcefully this time as tears came into his eyes. "Why? Huh? Why'd you do it? Why didn't you leave me?" Well that was a stupid question. No sane person would leave anyone to die. He should've asked why Jett was here, why now, of all times, he'd chosen to come by. But he didn't. His throat hurt too much. So instead, he just squeezed his hands around Jett's wrists as he cried harder.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2013 21:16:11 GMT -5
Jett wiped his eyes and cheeks on the sleeve of his shirt. Why would Danny even try this shit? Yeah, the bad talk around campus was almost unbearable, but was it really this extreme? What else what going on inside this kid's head? Something else, something deeper had to be turning for things to have gotten this bad. "Danny......" Jett said, moving Danny's bangs from his eyes.
The almost lifeless body he was holding had seemingly bolted awake and was now tortured. "I didn't.. I.. I couldn't.." Jett shook his head. He wanted to badly to know what possessed Danny to pull this. He wanted to know every thought that was running through his mind before, during and now. He didn't even know what to say right now.
"Danny?" He said after a while. Jett placed his hand behind Danny's head and pulled him in closer to his chest. He couldn't be angry with him for saving his life. "I couldn't just.... I fucking need you. I need you." He couldn't lose Danny, not now when he had come up with enough guts to tell him everything. He was still in denial but he had to talk to someone about it and why not talk to the guy that he had straight up kissed?
....Had Danny kissed him back that night? He tried to remember but everything had happened so fast that it was a big messy blur. He turned his attention back to Danny who was still crying and squeezing Jett's arms so tight he was sure to have marks. He pulled Danny in even closer and rested his chin on the top of his head. "I needed to talk to you.. I-" He paused as a chill ran up his spine. "I needed to tell you something.. something that's been eating away at me for a long time now."
Jett helped Danny to the couch where he remember being sat on and playing video games with the guy sitting next to him that had just tried to off himself. "Danny, I think I...." He let out a heavy sigh and couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence.
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Post by Danny Dubois on Feb 4, 2013 21:39:23 GMT -5
Danny tried to smile as Jett pushed his hair back, but it was proving to be difficult. Half of him hated the boy for coming in too early.. but the other half thanked God that he had. He loved this boy, that was true and he was ready to make it clear. But a hint of sadness still lingered in the back of his mind. He didn't want to put Jett through the torture of being made fun of for something silly like love. Love that probably wasn't even mutual.
When Jett helped him back to the couch, Danny just gave in. He didn't really want to move, but Jett had been nice enough to support him all the way until he fell limply, sinking into the cushions. He let his head fall back a bit, running his fingers over his neck in pain. The belt had left some pretty deep dents and they hurt.. like hell. That's when Jett started talking. Danny didn't pull his head forward, but he was still able to look at him. He was sure rambling.
Confused when Jett had stopped, Danny struggled to sit forward. His body still wasn't back to the way it should've been. "What?" he asked in a kind of hoarse tone. "What is it?" This whole thing was turning into such a cliche drama movie. Boy saves boy from near death experience, boy now has a big secret but boy won't tell boy what it is.. it was confusing.
"Tell me, Jett," Danny said in a gentle tone as he smiled lightly, his fingers still running up and down his neck. A tear fell down his cheek as he ran them over the deepest dent then looked back at the belt. What had he done?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2013 1:56:20 GMT -5
Jett hadn't said anything for a few minutes, he just started from Danny, his neck and the closet and tried to get the image from his mind. Despite his shoes still being on, he pulled his knees into his chest and locked his arms around them. He was facing Danny straight on now and couldn't seem to take his eyes away from his. He was fumbling away with the words in his head and trying to find the best way to put them. He had never been good with situations like this.. then again, he had never been in a situation like this.
Jett sighed heavily at Danny's persistence in an answer. He wanted to tell him but he was scared of the outcome. He was scared about everything that could possibly brew from this, he honestly didn't think that he could handle anymore of the negativity and bullying that had already sparked. He would move back in with his parents and just do online schooling if it came down to it.
With a shift of his eyes to Danny, he felt the words wanting to spew from his lips. "Danny... don't get mad or hate me or anything but..." There he was, choking again. Frustrated, he just let it out, like the kiss on homecoming. "I like you and I think I may or may not be gay." That had been so much harder to say than he thought, and he immediately wished he hadn't just said it. There wasn't anything he could say now. The question still lingered in the back of his mind why Danny had tried to do what he did but he figured that might be too much right now and that's all the two needed.. another episode.
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Post by Danny Dubois on Feb 5, 2013 18:34:10 GMT -5
Danny was suddenly relaxed as Jett admit that he liked him. It was a reassuring thing to hear.. but he was also feeling incredibly embarrassed because the suicide attempt hadn't even been worth it. "Jett," he said with a smile. "You don't know how good it feels to hear that." He stopped for a moment which he figured would confuse Jett. But he had to just sit and take it in.
"I.. I like you too," he said after a moment, looking from his hands up into Jett's eyes. They hadn't moved from his face. "That's why I kissed you back at homecoming. And.. that's why I tried.. this," he pointed at his neck and started to cry. It hurt to admit his mistakes.. especially something like this. "I didn't think you liked me. I didn't think there was any way. And I didn't wanna have to drag you down in the swarm of insults that we'd been getting. But Jett.. this makes things so much better." He scooted a bit towards Jett. "But.. you're not joking right? Cuz I'll fucking strangle you if you are," he tried to joke and lighten the mood. It felt wrong to suddenly be so unfazed by everything that had just happened. But he was just so happy right now.. and he had to show it. Besides, there was no point in keeping Jett worrying.
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