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Finnick Radke
Junior Member
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Posts: 68
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Post by Finnick Radke on Sept 7, 2013 12:32:57 GMT -5
He probably shouldn't be nervous about losing his virginity, but he was. Wasn't everyone? Was she not nervous when she lost hers or had it been meaningless like the stories he had heard about other people with an experience like that? He didn't understand why people just threw themselves at each other if it didn't mean anything. Maybe it was just something that he cherished and there was nothing wrong with that from what his mom was always saying. Despite everything that he'd been through, he had fully learned that he could trust Bee after that last little mishap that almost cost him the night, if it actually hadn't. If he needed her to stop, she would, and he knew that now.
Finn listened intently to what she was saying, something that he did naturally. He smiled when she started singing because he didn't know that she had it in her! He was a little taken off guard when she moved atop him and started planting kisses all down his body. Had she changed her mind? If he couldn't do it tonight, he knew that he wouldn't be able to try it again on another night, especially if it ended badly. He would probably be the guy everyone called the 35 year old virgin when they had their high school reunion. Now he was going to be scared to go to that for that reason!
It had gotten so tiring be frightened by the world like he was. He wasn't even because he was a sheltered child! Finn had always been the timid one out of the two brothers. He didn't talk back to his parents, he never missed curfew, he never even so much as forgot to ask if he could be excused from the table. Whereas Parker was another story. As safe as he was, Parker was a little bit of a wild child. He was the adventurous rowdy one that was more aggressive and loud than his older brother. He was more handy and twice as social. Maybe their dad was the reason that Parker had a pretty normal childhood and Finn did not. The younger of the brothers, along with their mother, had been pretty clueless to what was going on, so they carried on with their everyday lives until Carolyn found out.
Finn was snapped out of his little flashback when he felt the blanket moving off his body and his face instantly heated up. He watched her as she started, making sure that she didn't have some kind of trick or something up her sleeve. When he was sure that she meant him no harm, he laid his head back and tried to flush all the bad memories away so that he could focus on her. Not after too long, it started to work and he slowly felt his body relaxing. He even thought back to the last time they did something like this but she wasn't using her hands.. The thought of /that/ actually made him smirk just before he felt an urge come over him.
"Hey Bee~" He started, looking to her. In a second, he got the notion to flip her over and that's exactly what he did. Was this just his natural human instinct taking over or finally setting in? He even pulled her shirt off without asking! Finn copied what she had done as he kissed down her neck and to her chest. He stopped and carefully slipped his hand under her bra. "Is... is this okay?" He asked, hoping she would say it was. As that had was preoccupied, along with his mouth, his other hand slipped down her sides and to the button of her shorts. He hated that he was the only naked one in the room though, but he unbuttoned and slipped them off like she was a billion dollar piece of glass or something. He figured that by now, she was okay with just about everything that he was doing, he so swallowed hard and made himself do something that he wasn't really certain how he felt about. He slipped his hand on the inside of her panties.
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Post by Beatrice Reynolds on Sept 7, 2013 16:05:08 GMT -5
Beatrice was viewing this in very small milestones instead of as a whole. She was touching him and he wasn't freaking out so he was progressing for the better. There was a time when he jumped out when she'd try to do this like back at the lake in the beginning of their relationship. This was improvement, this was effort on his part that she never expected him to give. She was paying careful attention to his facial expressions and breathing to ensure that she didn't miss signs of a panic attack. It wasn't his fault that his father was a sick bastard. She was going to need to acknowledge the fact that he was going to struggle a little with this. They had all night, no need to rush into anything that he might regret.
There was always a chance that she, too, would regret this whole thing. Her first time had ended badly with the guy breaking things off shortly after. He'd only wanted to have sex with her and she was far too naive to see the signs. Finn wouldn't do that though. She was almost one hundred percent certain that having sex wasn't going to negatively impact their relationship. He was just as in love with her as she was with him. It wasn't one person taking from the other, it was an equal partnership between two people who only wanted the other to be happy. He was even willing to push past his obvious discomfort before so their romantic night didn't have to end prematurely.
Hell even planning a romantic night deserved props! None of her exes had done anything even remotely close to this before and she'd been with some of them for over a year. "Hmm?" She stopped what she was doing when he said her name and looked at him with a concerned expression. Had she gone too far and hurt him again? Did he want to stop trying? She nearly squealed when she felt him flip her over. Where did that come from? She allowed him to take her shirt off and smirked as he started kissing down her neck. He was copying her so she assumed that meant that he enjoyed it enough to think she would. She was finally letting herself relax and hey, maybe this would really happen tonight. Her mood was slowly coming back and she actually believed that they could make this work.
"It's perfect..." She assured him in an almost breathless whisper. She wasn't just talking about what he was doing right now - everything about this moment was perfect and she wished that things could just stay like this forever. Morning would come far too quickly and she'd have to leave him. She tensed up for a second when she felt his hands on the button of her shorts. What was he doing? She didn't think that she minded so she focused on relaxing.. Just letting him do what he felt like he needed to do. Why was she even so nervous about this? He'd touched her there before. She knew that he was fully capable of pleasing her if that was where he was going with this unless the little shit was just trying to be a tease which wouldn't really surprise her.
"Baby..." She mused affectionately as she felt his hand slip into her panties. This was really happening, he was really going to do this. She assumed that this was the moment where they reached the point of absolute no return. They could obviously stop if he needed to but she figured that he would fight that urge more than ever. "Baby.. Tell me that you love me." She just felt like she needed to hear it.
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Finnick Radke
Junior Member
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Posts: 68
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Post by Finnick Radke on Sept 8, 2013 3:21:04 GMT -5
This was the biggest milestone he'd overcome thus far and for once, he was actually almost fully relaxed. He wanted to please her and he wanted to make her feel how he made her feel.. but without the panic attack and flashbacks. He wanted her to feel good and have her feel like he wanted this more than anything but the longer he thought about it, the more complicated it got. He started to feel extremely anxious knowing that they both had the mindset now that this was happening. He was still growing around the idea that /that/ was possibly but more than likely going to end up in /there/ within a short amount of time.
He was even slightly comfortable doing this now! Wasn't that a huge advancement from last time? Because the previous time, if he was being truthful, felt like he had been violating her a a slight level. He'd done something he wasn't exactly ready to do, but he did it anyway and suffered the mental anguish. Not this time though. The longer things continued, the more excited he became and carrying on. Wasn't that a good thing? Wasn't that... normal?
Finn had completely gotten rid of her underwear by now, and as he pressed on, Bee had said something that made him stop for a second. He looked a little confused at her request, did she not think that he truly cared about her? That what he felt for her was actually just some kind of teenage infatuation? "Bee.. I am so in love with you." He said, before smiling. She knew that she hadn't gone off the deep end yet, hitting that tantric state that he'd only ever experienced a handful of times. He pulled his hand away from her and grew quiet for a moment.
Suddenly, he felt a squirming in his stomach and hoped that it was just nerves and that he wasn't feeling the urge to pule right now. Yeah, it was just anxiety, right? Something his medication was failing to control right now, but this whole situation was rather nerve racking. With a soothing deep breath in and heavy exhale, Finn looked at her from under his brows. "Do..... do you want to?"
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Post by Beatrice Reynolds on Sept 8, 2013 6:03:46 GMT -5
Hearing Finn assure her that he was in love with her definitely helped put Beatrice just a little bit more in the right mood. She thought that she was as ready as she could ever be until he said it and now she knew without a doubt that she wanted this. She was so fascinated with the idea of him going inside of her body. She had always been curious about the wonderful human body. How could someone actually keep another body part inside of themselves without pain? Well, there wasn't supposed to be pain but she had experienced some during past sexual encounters. She blamed this on the fact that they simply weren't good and hadn't taken the time to get her aroused to begin with.
"I want to...." She whispered as she bit down on her bottom lip a tad nervously. She didn't want him to confuse that for reluctance because she knew that nothing would make her feel more complete than making sweet love to him."Hey... Do you want me on.... Do you want to be on top?" She wasn't sure if he wanted her on top or if he felt comfortable enough to take charge of the situation like he'd done before. She felt so vulnerable laying beneath him naked even though he was nude as well. She didn't feel exactly uncomfortable in the situation but she did feel like she was on display for his potential judgement in a way that wasn't quite familiar to her.
She was so caught up in her silly romantic feelings and teenage hormones that she nearly forgot the most important deal-breaking thing - a condom. She hadn't thought to ask if he had any and she wasn't completely sure that he knew that they needed them. She loved him with all her heart and hoped to one day, when they were ready, carry his children. "Finn.. Do you have a condom?" She felt incredibly awkward asking someone as innocent as him if he had a rubber to wrap his willy before he boned her. It just felt so vulgar, so unnecessarily dirty considering that she was on a very trustworthy birth control with a low failure rate.
If it was anyone else then she'd think about 'risking' it without two types of protection but the last thing that she wanted Finn to remember losing his virginity for was teenage unplanned pregnancy even if she just knew that he'd be a great father. He was already the most genuine man that she had ever met. Bee was well aware that she would be extremely lucky if she somehow had a son with him who was as impressive as his father only, hopefully, minus all of the anxiety and tragedy that filled Finn's childhood. There would just be no way to forgive herself if her own child was hurt by a relative right under her nose.
"And um... Do you know how to put a condom on anyway?" What an awkward question. Shit... What if that question killed his mood entirely? They'd worked so hard to get to this level and one simple mistake could ruin it.
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Finnick Radke
Junior Member
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Posts: 68
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Post by Finnick Radke on Sept 16, 2013 19:01:57 GMT -5
Finn's cheeks turned a shade of red when she asked if he would prefer her on top or if he'd rather assume that position. He wasn't sure what he wanted seeing as he'd never done anything of the sort or really ever thought about it before now. Well, he'd thought about it once.. two years ago when he had his last girlfriend. That was before she found out about his dad. Since then, he hadn't had any thoughts because of how it ended.
But he trusted Bee, and she knew everything about him and she was still there. "We don't have to decide, do we? I mean, whatever happens, happens." Finn said with a little shy smile. He'd completely forgot about one little thing that he'd taken so much time to think over before.. the condom. A whole new wave of nerves washed over him as he thought about it. His mom had given both her boys the talk and showed them what to do which was awkward enough, but it stuck with Finn. "I.. uhm.." He reached over to the box in his night stand and shakily opened it. The contents fell out in front of him and when he picked it up, his eyes widened at the long connected line of twelve purple wrappers that dangled in front of him.
Bee's question about knowing how to put a condom on pulled him out of his worries. "Well, yeah? I mean.. it's not that difficult." He almost laughed with his response as he tore off one of the little wrappers and started to tear it open. Once he had done that, he knew there would be no turning back. Finn stopped momentarily and looked at Bee with a little idea brewing in his head. "Do you want to do it?" That question probably would have sounded like he didn't know how, but really, he just kind of wanted to feel her touch again. He was starting to like it and actually enjoy it, which for him, was kind of a big deal.
There was an aching in his stomach that he'd never felt before, like a serge of electricity running through him. It made his heart race and his mind run wild but most of all, it made him want her even more. Finn thought this to be his libido coming into play and that made him relax a little more, his muscles finally loosening up. "I want you, Bee. I want this." He reassured her that he was more than willing now and hoped that she was catching on that he was definitely feeling the heat.
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Post by Beatrice Reynolds on Sept 16, 2013 20:54:17 GMT -5
Sure he knew how to put on a condom and Bee knew how to tame lions! Beatrice wasn't sure questioning him was the best idea. What if he got offended and assumed that she was trying to call him less of a man? Well, it wouldn't be so strange for him to think that since it was exactly what she would basically be doing. She decided to just 'risk' it and let him keep his dignity. Her birth control was reliable if the condom failed, right? She was pretty sure that there were a lot of couples who just used birth control and went years without accidentally conceiving children.
She was secretly relieved when Finn asked her if she wanted to do it for him. It certainly made her life easier since she didn't need to say that she didn't trust his ability and he didn't need to admit that he needed the help. She gently took the wrapped square away from him and just kept repeating 'it's just like the cucumber' in her head. Despite his own inability to protect himself, William had made absolutely sure that each of his children knew exactly how to put a condom on by showing them with various vegetables and fruits. She still couldn't eat a cucumber without cringing but the lessons were worth it. She couldn't imagine the trouble that she and Finn could be getting themselves into if neither of them knew how to work a condom.
Placing a condom on a penis was completely different, in her opinion, from placing it on an inanimate piece of food. She wasn't worried about accidentally making the cucumber cry or feel like she was raping it. She wasn't sure how Finn was going to handle her actually touching his penis or if he was going to be upset once he felt the condom on him. What if he got the wrong size and they were too big? She bit down on her bottom lip and just tried to keep thinking that it was no different than a cucumber. She was already mentally preparing herself to console him which would certainly kill the mood and make the condom a total waste.
She wanted to assure him that everything was going to be fine even if this didn't happen but the words refused to leave her mouth. How could she tell him that she had doubts about him being ready after he'd gone this far? He was trying so hard to do this! She couldn't just admit that she didn't think that it was going to be enough. She couldn't believe for even one second that this was going to happen. If she let herself get attached to the idea that he was going to go through with this and he couldn't do it then she knew that she wouldn't be able to hide her disappointment. She couldn't comfort him or assure him that everything was going to be okay if she was too busy feeling sorry for herself. It just wasn't fair to him for her to get so hot and bothered that she would be willing to violate him.
She looked up at him with a helpless expression once she got the condom on him. "Are you still okay?" She felt like she needed to ask that after every small step. She still didn't know if he was going to let her on top or if he was going to awkwardly do it. Would he even know how to get that in her without doing it wrong? She'd heard some very interesting stories from Esme and the internet about virgins losing their virginities and screwing it all up. Hell, even Dallas Kennedy did it in the wrong hole once and he had experience!
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Finnick Radke
Junior Member
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Posts: 68
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Post by Finnick Radke on Sept 17, 2013 3:08:56 GMT -5
Finn was pleasantly surprised that Bee accepted his offer and took the package from his hand. He felt kind of dirty, but in a good way, when she opened it the rest of the way and started to slip it over him. A chill ran through his body and he leaned in to give her forehead a sweet kiss before he moved down to her lips. A breathy moan had even escaped Finn's mouth as he kissed down her jaw and stayed firmly put on her neck. This was happening. This was actually happening. He was was relaxed enough that he was starting to enjoy it.
He just hoped that she wasn't concentrating so hard that it was making her lose her focus and drive for his sake. What kind of selfish prick would that make him look out to be? He pulled away when she was done, and couldn't help but notice her concern. He nodded slowly and said just above a whisper, "I'm okay." Finn leaning in to kiss her and soon found himself hovering over her. They were beautiful creatures only performing an act of love and he was okay with that. He wasn't thinking about anything except for her as he carefully kissed her lips and ran his hands all over her body. It was surprising to him just how quickly that he was getting over all of the bad thoughts and images inside his head, but it was nice not to think about them for once.
He remembered Bee asking if he wanted her to be on top. The more he thought about it, the better of an idea it seemed. Finn pulled his face away from hers for just a second before he buried his hands under her and flipped her over him so that he was on his back and she was straddled across his stomach. A cute but quietly timid laugh and smile crept out of him and he ran his hands over the tops of her thighs, anticipating her next move. Finn leaned up, propping himself on his elbows and speaking into her chest. "I want you, Bee." Was he giving her the okay for her to go ahead and take his virginity? Of course he was. But it wasn't just that, he wanted to feel the emotional bond that Elliot had been so hung up about. He said that was how you could tell if you were really in love. The way that he spoke so passionately about it made Finn have that drive to try. He wanted the beautiful relationship that Elliot and Raine had. He wanted the love and deep leveled connection that they shared to be in his relationship with Bee. Even if it meant self sacrifice, he would do anything for her if he could just feel that kind of burning passion for only a second. Just as long as it came from her and no one else. "I'm ready." Finn whispered.
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Post by Beatrice Reynolds on Sept 17, 2013 19:16:54 GMT -5
Finn seemed confident that he was going to be able to do this but Beatrice still had her doubts. She was just waiting for him to fully realize what was about to happen and begin to panic. She wasn't expecting him to actually let her be on top so she was surprised when he flipped her over and he was back to laying on his back. She knew that the next thing to do was going to be actually have sex with him which seemed easier inside of her head than actually physically doing it. It was like her body refused to move so she was actually on him in fear of his reaction. He was ready.. She just needed to get it through her head that everything was going to be okay even if he did have a panic attack during. She could stop. It wasn't going to ruin his life if he had to have her stop in the middle because he couldn't handle one more second of torture. "Okay.." She finally whispered back as she took a couple slow breaths to prepare herself for what she was about to do.
She couldn't hold off on this forever, right? She felt like she was losing her virginity all over again with the way that her heart was pounding inside of her chest so she couldn't imagine what he was currently feeling. "Please be okay." She muttered under her breath as she slowly started lowering herself onto him. This was normal.. They were just two people in love doing what every other couple in love does. It was the most intimate way of showing someone how important that they are to you. He was giving her something right now that he could never give to anyone else even if they didn't work out. He got one virginity and he, for some odd reason, believed that she was worthy of keeping it with her. She knew that she regret losing her virginity to the person that she'd been with and she honestly worried that he would feel the same way in a couple of years when he was having sex with a new partner.She took one final look at the face that she'd grown so fond of before moving down on him. She let out an involuntary moan and almost immediately regret doing so. What if that small noise scared him so much that he just couldn't continue?
She glanced down at him for approval before she even moved another inch. She was almost shocked at how easily that she got back into the motions. It'd been a little while since she'd gotten down and dirty with someone so she feared that she'd forget what she was supposed to be doing and end up hurting both of them. She'd read some very interesting stories about accidentally breaking a man's penis when the girl on top moved wrong or went too hard. The very last thing that she wanted to ever end up doing was hurt her boyfriend and have to take him to the emergency room because she broke something so important while taking his virginity. Well, he'd definitely never forget his first time in that case! She just wasn't sure that he would ever be able to enjoy sex again if he gotten broken. "Are you okay?" She asked finally as she moved her hands to touch his shoulders. She didn't want to keep going if he was starting to freak out even a little bit.
(( you can skip now if you want XD ))
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Finnick Radke
Junior Member
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Posts: 68
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Post by Finnick Radke on Sept 27, 2013 3:11:44 GMT -5
As Bee breathed, seemingly trying to shake her nerves which Finn wasn't expecting her to have, he took one final deep breath in himself shaking any single doubt from his thoughts. He couldn't take his eyes off her, until he felt her on him and a quick zing of fear and panic raced through him. But she was still calm, so he pushed himself to do the same. As she pushed further, he pinched his eyes shut, not sure what to think about everything he was feeling or how to fathom the fact that he actually liked what he was feeling even if he was trying to maintain composure. This was going to be so much easier than anything he had previously expected. He laid his back against the bed when her hands touched his shoulders and he pulled her down with him. With a slow nod, he whispered on her lips, "I love you."
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Finn didn't wonder if this was the feeling that Elliot had talked about so often, he knew this was what he meant. It wasn't even because of the euphoria he felt that went along with a sweet release, but the fact that it was Bee and only Bee. She had something that no one else could have unlike everything else that people just seemed to take from him whenever they wanted. He felt safe knowing that it was her. He was almost too nervous to even think about letting himself let go towards the end, but something, probably just his natural male hormones, allowed him that.
He laid flat on his back, trying to catch his breath. It was like his ears were ringing and he couldn't move, but the sheet was draped over them apart from his knee that was poking out from underneath. He couldn't find words nor could he even make one thought make sense in his cloudy mind. Everything was perfect. He was so caught up in his own self that he hadn't even thought about what Bee was feeling. He hoped everything he was going through, she was also feeling. What if she wasn't? It wasn't like she'd said anything and that worried him. Or.. maybe she had and he just hadn't caught it. Finn turned his head to her, adjusting his body so that he was now on his side and facing her. "Are you okay?" He asked very quietly. What if her answer was no? How could he possibly live with himself if he had enjoyed it and she hadn't but went with it for his own sake?
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Post by Beatrice Reynolds on Sept 27, 2013 16:52:36 GMT -5
The last thing that Beatrice had expected to feel immediately after sex with Finn was any kind of guilt. It wasn't rape. He wanted it. Her mental justifications only caused her to feel even worse than she already did. Wasn't that exactly what rapists say when they get caught? Sure Finn had given plenty of clear consent but what if he changed his mind in the middle but couldn't tell her out of fear? She and Peyton had been studying the definition of male rape and how it occurs after she'd discovered what had happened with Finn and she'd discovered that it was possible for a body to react just as a consenting male would as a fear response. Was he simply too scared of her to reject her? Or did he think that she would leave? She'd stopped once but with everything that he'd gone through, it wasn't too far fetched to think that he would be too worried about being abandoned to tell her what he was really feeling.
Her guilt only increased as she thought back to the actual act. How had he behaved? She was too busy focusing on her own pleasure to ask him if he was still okay. It would have severely killed her mood to reassure him every five seconds but this wasn't even supposed to be about her finishing! This was Finn's first time, his moment.. not her's. She'd had plenty of amazing sexual experiences though most of those came from herself. She didn't even mean to climax from this! She didn't want to scare him with her obviously pleasured, and quite loud, noises. There would be nothing that killed the mood faster than him asking her to stop because he thought that she was dying not that she was really paying enough attention to him to notice if he had asked her anything nor would she have likely even heard him over her own sounds. Let's just say that it was a really good thing that he had his mother and brother outside of the house for their special night.
She didn't want him to notice that her eyes were getting all teary so she turned over onto her side and pretended to be very interested in getting her clothes together. She didn't feel like putting anything back on though and she heard him ask her if she was okay. Was she? She couldn't admit that she felt guilty without him thinking that he'd done something wrong which he hadn't. She pressed her lips against his forehead and nodded slowly, "Of course.. I'm fine." She felt even worse now that she was basically lying to him. "You know how people say that your virginity is this big special thing and you should keep it for someone really important? I didn't. I gave it to someone who was really not that great and I've regret it ever since. I regret that I was stupid enough to think that sex could make someone love you and I worry now that you'll be saying that you wish you hadn't done it."
She had no desire to be a total bummer so she gave into her urges and clung desperately to his side. "Do you still love me?" She didn't even know where that had came from. She was supposed to be reassuring him yet here she was trying to get his comfort again.
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